Dear Little Red Neon with KS tags,
I know. Trust me, I know. I know that you think you're the only one on the road. I know that your agenda is WAY more important than mine. I know you feel this way. I know, because I've watched you, and your kind.
It is Kansas City rush hour, yet you stay. You stay in the left-hand lane on a three lane stretch, wavering from 55 to 65 mph, when the SUGGESTED speed limit is 65. There are two other lanes full of jerks, going WAY under the speed limit. Why not join them?
Yes, I see the cell phone. I know that you are having an important conversation. I know that you can't be bothered with those of us who work for a living. I implore you, please go shopping earlier, or later, in the day? Please call the Nanny taking care of your kids at a different time? Or raise your own kids...your choice.
Seriously, at 5:15 on a weekday, 50 in a 65 will never do. That's why I went road-rage on you, honked my horn, and gestured rudely. I didn't mean it...Yeah, yeah I did. You are a selfish, self-centered creep, and you need smacked.
Do you think I was surprised when you exited at the mall? No. I wasn't. You had things to buy. Things that folks like me can't afford. We don't matter to you. Your hair and nails are perfect, and you are skinny as a rail. Your husband probably makes 10 times what Kevin makes. I see that.
You know what? I don't care. Kevin is 10 times the man that your husband could hope to be. We both work for a living, and we have something to go home to. We don't shop to get rid of the anxiety. We shop when we're out of toilet paper.
So, why don't you do this: Take your snobbish, Johnson county ass, and get off the FREAKIN' road while I'm trying to get home to my husband. The guy who builds me a deck even though he hurts beyondall measure. The guy who is helping raise my daughters to be good people...not like you.
Get out of my way, because I have $400 invested in this car, and I'm not afraid to run your pampered ass off the road and let the liability insurance take care of it. K?
I just thought I should warn you.
Signed,
The Cavalier behind you.
6 comments:
That was me in drag. Sorry!
Russ(ella)
Go get 'em, girlfriend!
~H
All I have to do is change the wording a bit and I could hand one or more of these letters out every day! I am not as quick with the hand gestures though...there are a lot of "nuts" here in my neck of the woods! LOL. I hope you have a better commute today.
June
Just one thing to add....A NEON? in Johnson County?
Are you SURE you're not talking about traffic in LA?? I could swear I encountered the same damn woman recently!
Pam
Cut in front and hit your brakes! You need a new car anyway
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