A new journal

I'm sorry to inform the readers of Rachel's journal of this fact:  Rachel has passed out.  The heat finally got to her.  Let's not minimize the situation.  Several days of 100+ temps will get to anyone.  Then, she had the insane plan to weedeat the yard at noon.  Sheesh, hicks can NOT be relied upon to make rational decisions.

I must say, it's good that I showed up when I did.  There is one giant hairball that they call a pet, and he seems to run the place.  He eats and sleeps and sheds.  That's about all I've seen of him.  Once, he stood up, like he might do something, but he was just turning over to avoid bed sores.

There is a tiny little thing that just *might* be a pup.  It's hard to say.  She weighs less than 2 lbs, and sleeps most of the time.  Once, she started to pee on the floor, and the whole house woke up at once, like they'd seen a Volkswagon full of clowns pull up outside.  Good lord, everyone pees.  What's the big deal.  Maybe if they'd turn off the TV from time to time, the dog would be better supervised.

Although I've seen little movement from the "people" in the house, food seems to disappear at an alarming rate.  The chairs at both computers are always warm, and the screen savers rarely come on.  I don't know how that's possible, since they all do little more than fart and roll over.  The history menu is full, and the computers are whirring constantly, yet no educational or informative content can be found.

Anyway, I'm glad I got here when I did.  When they called for a Nanny, I thought that there were children that needed tended.  There are no children here.  There is a boy who is at the brink of manhood, but when he arrives from a hard day at work, he adopts the same lifestyle that the other "adults" here have.  Sleep, fart, and roll over.

Maybe I can reform them.  Maybe I can put some structure into this house.  There is a rumor that the children will arrive this coming weekend, but I'm not sure what will come of them.  Honestly, I'll have to stay on, or risk the guilt of seeing two promising young ladies turn into....well....this mess that I have witnessed today.

God help us all.

~Mary Poopins~

PupsNStuff

Tonight, we picked up two puppies.  Lucy is here to stay.  The white one belongs to a friend of mine, and they'll pick her up tomorrow morning.  They are so small!  Smaller than Hawkeye's head!  I've thrown in some other pictures, from the trip to Carthage over the weekend (when we went to see the girls.)

It's been a good evening, which topped off a horrible day.  It's great to end on a positive note!

A week early?

Well, it's a week early, but it's time.  We get to pick Lucy  up tomorrow!  The folks who have her have put their house on the market, and it was advised that the house may sell better without a kiddie pool full of puppies filling the bathroom (good advice!)  She's completely on solid food, so she's ready.  I can't wait!  It sucks that I promised to try not to bond with her too much at first.  She needs to be Kevin's dog.  *sigh*

She's just so darn CUTE!  It'll be a challenge.  I haven't house trained a dog in a long time, but Kevin's doing it this time, so I'll just be the backup potty-trainer.  I can't wait to hold her and smell her again.  Pictures to follow...SOON!

*sigh*

Well, I'm posting for the sake of a post, I guess.  I'm not sad, but I'm not happy.  We saw the girls this past weekend.  They're great.  Monica broke down when we were leaving.  That hit pretty hard.  Monica never breaks down.  We were prepared for Natalie's tears, not Monica's.  They're having a great time, but they're homesick.  If I had someone to watch them this week, we would have loaded them up in the truck (4 people, 3 seatbelts, who cares?) and brought them home.  I cried for the first 45 minutes of the trip home.  *sigh*

Brett had a rough weekend.  Maybe a post on that later.  He gave up a shift at work to help family, then got burned by said family member.  I told him not to let that happen.  A boss wants to think that the job is the first priority, and for Brett, it needs to be.  Today, someone went home sick, so Brett is pulling a double shift.  Go Brett!  Great way to redeem yourself and make up the lost shift.  He needs money, so it's all for the best.  I miss him being here in the evenings. *sigh*

I need Ya'llapalooza tickets.  They are giving them away left and right, but I can't get to any of the places they're going.  They head to Kansas often, and I've been tempted to beg Russ to go get some for me.  Problem is, Russ may melt to the ground if he gets too near a country radio remote van.  Plus, I don't impose on friends....period.  *sigh*

I guess I'll buy a ticket if I need to, but it's $18.50 with the damn ticketmaster fee (for lawn seating) and I'd rather not spend the $$.  Kevin doesn't want to go (I think) because he works in the heat.  Why go to a 12 hour concert in the 100 degree heat, if you could be home in the air?  Well, I think I could get a friend to go with me, but I can't justify paying for the ticket.  *sigh*

Like I said, I'm not sad.  I just have this....well, this *sigh* feeling.  Things are going fine.  Life is good.  I work hard and feel good about it. Kevin works hard.  Brett works hard.  We are trying the best we know to make things work around here, and we're getting by.  I miss my girls, I want to go to an unattainable concert, and I want it to rain on my brown lawn.  I want, I want, I want.  I'm being a big baby.  Life is good and I'm thankful.  It's just....*sigh*

Weekend assignment

I'm happy that I'll see my girls in the morning, SOOO....

weekend assignment #121

Weekend Assignment #121, from John Scalzi: Do whatever you want, so long as it somehow involves the number 11

Memories of being eleven, lists that have eleven positions on them, collections of eleven similar objects -- hey, whatever you want. As long as the number eleven is somehow involved, it's all good. For those of you thinking about being sneaking and using binary notation: no "11, base 2." We're talking binary number 1011 here, pal.

Here ya go, 11 reasons I miss my girls:

1. The great hugs.

2. The laughter.  My kids are hilarious.

3. The kisses at bedtime.

4. The stories about their day.

5. The back scratches for Dad.

6. The singing in the truck.

7. Hearing "I love you Mommy/Daddy"

8. Watching Big Brother with them.

9. The lame jokes.

10. The sheer beauty of their faces.

11. Giggling!

Just stuff

I chose "sad" for my mood, but I'm not really all that sad.  I just had a REALLY bad day.  REALLY.BAD.  It happens, move on.

Tonights entry is about the past 5 years.  A lot can happen in 5 years.  A lot DID happen in 5 years.

We moved from the SW corner of Missouri to the Kansas City area:  I always told my boss that I'd be back when Natalie started school.  We moved here during the summer before that milestone.  I got to waltz back into a great company, with a better job than I had before.  A GREAT job, I must say.

My Grandma died:  I've lost grandparents before, and it hurt each time.  This was my LAST grandparent.  Dammit, it hurt.  She needed to go.  She needed to leave this world and the horrible vessel that her body had become, but she was my LAST grandparent!  I felt so empty.  Grandparents are important.

Steve died:  One month after burying my grandma, Kevin's brother was killed fighting a fire.  I can't begin to put into words the pain that we all felt.  Steve made family gatherings fun.  Steve was the life of the party.  Steve worked 4 jobs at once, sometimes, and all of them involved preserving life.  Steve was BIGGER than life.  Damn, I miss you, buddy.

We learned that it IS about the money, sometimes:  Kevin had to leave a dream job for a shit job.  It has its perks, but it's hot and miserable and stupid at times.  He suffers these things for the family, because the dream job (that is open if he ever wants it back) doesn't pay enough.  Damn, I hope he can go back at some point.  They love him, he loves the job...I want that for him.

Jonathan grew up:  Yeah, my step-son quit getting in trouble.  He got his GED.  He decided to make a life for himself, and is now a manager at a grocery store.  He is proud of himself and we are proud of him.  He is going to be a fine adult. (he'll be 21 next April.)

We bought our first home:  After 10 years of marriage and rental homes, we took the plunge.  There are a bazillion things I'd like to fix around here, but it's MINE.  I love this town, and I love this house.  I feel all grown up when I make a mortgage payment, instead of paying rent.

I went to a Chicago suburb to a chat-meet:  It was incredible. Kevin and I took off and drove straight thru, got a cheap room, and had the time of our lives visiting the folks we've come to know at JokeADay.com.  I love these people, and feel like I've known them for years (because I have.)

I met some J-land buddies:  Twice, I've driven to O-friggin'-P (sorry, inside joke between me and those I met) to meet some cool folks.  Gay people are FUN!  (sorry, another inside joke.)  It's so neat to feel welcomed and accepted by people that have an entirely different view of things.

We got Hawkeye:  Yeah, I know...it's just a dog.  But really, he's not.  He is a friend, caretaker, and loyal ally.  When any family member is gone, he worries sick until they return.  This month without the girls is killing him.

My dad almost died:  I've posted about this before, and won't go into detail again now, but I stop by to say "hi" more often.  I appreciate his wisdom more.  I ask his advice more.  I worry about him more.  I wonder if he's OK.  My parents are both awesome folks, and I don't want to think about EVER losing either one of them.  I live in a bubble, remember?

I had an 11th anniversary: Hell, I didn't plan to make it 5 years, to be honest.  Both of us were married previously, and neither made it more than 2 years!  I am a pain in the ass, to be sure, but he puts up with me, and I love him dearly.  He works hard hours in the heat to provide for this family.  He's a husband and dad first, before all else.  Who could ask for more?

I found love for my brother:  Most kids fight with their siblings...it's the way things work.  Not many people understand how much I HATED him for so many years.  Gradually, over the past few years, the hatred has been replaced by love.  I'm not sure how or when, but I cried off-and-on for a couple of days after he left, and took beautiful Lyndsay with him.  I miss you, bro.

Well, that's it.  My past 5 years in a nutshell.  I linked to a few things, but not all.  I cried a lot typing this, but I needed it.  I'm going to bed.  I'm exhausted.

 

Missing my family

Mom and Dad are in Colorado on vacation.  The girls are in SW Missouri at Grammy's.  Brett is at work.  My brother Jim went home and took my neice Lyndsay with him.  I'm so lonely for family!  I never thought much about needing family for many years.  I did my thing, and they were something to deal with during holidays.  Now, I have a hard time functioning when it's just me and Kevin.

Check out Mom's journal to read her Colorado adventures.  I didn't link to a specific entry, because there have been many.

Check out Jim's journal to see my darling neice riding a zero-turning radius mower.  Listen for her laugh toward the end...priceless.  Oh to be young and have THAT much fun.

A post that's the color of money

Well, Mom and Dad are having a great time!  That's good news.  The girls are alive and well in SW Missouri, with Grammy.  That's good news.  There's a MAJOR storm rolling in from the North, bringing rain.  That's good news.  Brett got called in to his new job for an extra shift yesterday, filling in for someone who was sick.  That's good news (he really needs the money.)

The best news of the day?  Not that I got an Italian coin unstuck from the work vending machine (even bringing 4 quarters with it!)  Not that I made a pissed-off customer quite happy (Yeah, ummm, that's my job.)  Not that Kevin and I got to watch Big Brother without interruption (after "The Great Storm Interruption of Satellite" during Tuesday's episode.)  Not that I got to see a picture of the puppy with her eyes open (she'll be ours the first week of August...picture to follow.)

The best news of the day was this:  There was a "health fair" at work yesterday.  Get your finger pricked to check cholesterol and stuff (mine's all good.)  Weigh in (it wasn't public knowledge, thank God,) then take a computer analysis of your overall lifestyle type stuff.  Mine wasn't great, because I was honest.  Anyway, anyone who participated in this voluntary thing got thrown in to a drawing, with 10 winners.  I WON!  I never win ANYTHING.  HONEST!  I can't get more than a busy signal on radio contests (I really NEED Y'allapalooza tickets for July 30....little help?)

The winners (ME!) all got, are you ready?  I crisp new $100 bill!  WOW!  I was so stoked.

I thought about getting Kevin to take me to dinner, then ordering VERY expensive items, to watch his expression, then I'd pay.  I thought about going to the casino, since I'm lucky today.  I thought about being an adult and paying a bill (yeah right), I thought about shopping at thrift stores for clothes (I need them badly,) and I thought about stashing it away silently for Kevin's birthday (never could keep a secret.)

As it stands, I don't know what I'll do with it, but I've told Kevin (I told you I can't keep a secret!)  To be real honest, I bought fast food for dinner, since it's just the two of us.  My diet has been lacking fast food for many weeks.  That leaves almost $90.  We'll probably figure bills tomorrow, and find out that it's needed to make ends meet, but it was fun spending it in my head.  I'm thankful for it, regardless of where it goes. (Sure would be nice to spend a quiet night in a hotel, huh?)

Anyway, the moral of the story is this:  Good things CAN happen to ordinary people.  I can't even be selfish with my windfall, because I love my family.  That's worth more than words in a journal can express.

Life's goin' on

Well, the girls are gone to Grammy's house for a month or so.  It's so quiet here.  I like the mornings, not having to wake them up early during summer break, since I still have to work, but the evenings kind of suck.  We call them on Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.  Weekends are free, so that is more than every-other-night.  Grammy's working at a church camp, so the girls are getting to spend their days playing there.  Last night, they both spent the night there! Tonight, Monica was exhausted and wanted to go to Grammy's, shower and go to bed, but Natalie said, "Nope, I'm stayin'!"  That means, I only got to talk to Monica.  She's so tired, but they're having a lot of fun.

Tonight, Big Brother is on.  Another chance to watch people fight and make butts of themselves on national TV.  RIGHT ON!  We aren't really cooking meals, but Brett, Kevin and I fend for ourselves each night.  It's relaxing, but I miss my girls.

Mom and Dad are having a good time in Colorado.  The only problem is, that's one more thing that I can't do this week...visit them.  *sigh*  I feel so unneeded this week.  It's nice to not have a lot of pressure on me, but I'm finding that I need to feel needed.

Well, time to go find a sandwich or something and get ready for my show. 

R.I.P. Jewel Snott

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Today is my mom's birthday.  My mom has gone through several stages during my life span, and I'll cover a few of them.

When I was a baby, she was my whole world.

When I was a young girl, she was a very important part of my life.

When I was a teenager, she was stupid, mean, and demanding, but great on trips to Worlds of Fun.

When I was a young adult, she was someone to hide my vices from, and avoid at all costs.

Now, she is my whole world, a very important part of my life.  She will leave soon for vacation with Dad, and it makes me quite sad.  What will I do with my weekend?  Who will I visit?  Who will cook that wonderful weekend meal? 

My mom doesn't play mind games, and doesn't mince words.  If she thinks you're being stupid, she'll tell you so.  If she thinks you're doing well, she'll tell you so.  She watches my girls every day, so they don't have to spend time with strangers in a day care.  She dogsits for me when the day is too long for Hawkeye to stay in the house.  She loves to feed people, and is the best I've ever met at doing just that.

My mom takes wonderful pictures.  She has a full life, and takes great care of my dad.  She isn't afraid to have a good time, and roll with the punches.  She can take something that someone else enjoys, and find a way to enjoy it herself.  She is:  Mom; Grandma; Wife; Mother-in-Law; computer guru; cook; dishwasher; pet owner; camper; horse rider; gardener; cow milker; song writer; singer; guitar player; friend; conversationalist; CSI fan; traveller; bargain hunter; nurse.  There are many more things that describe her, but that is what came up when I typed without thought.

You're amazing, Mom.  I love you.  I miss you when you aren't around, and appreciate you when you are.  I love you!

The fun is over

Well, my brother and my neice are leaving tomorrow.  I hate to admit it (especially to him) but it made me teary eyed on the way home.  Lyndsay is so damn cute and fun and funny.  Jim is so damn cute and fun and funny. LOL 

He got to come see the lab this week.  We spent a couple of days together.  I know I can't see him for another year, and it sucks.  Shit, I'm teary again.  We lost so many years hating each other.  Well, I lost so many years, I'm not sure how he feels.  I hugged him when I left Dad's today.  I don't know when I hugged him last.

Jim, you're a good dad, a good son, and a good brother.  I've loved having you visit, and I can't wait to see you again.  Hell, you're not even out of town yet, and I miss you.  I promise to watch for freebies at work for you, and so will Kevin.

Crying sucks.  I'm gonna go watch Big Brother.  What an ironic name for the show I'm gonna watch, huh?

Happy Birthday America!

A day off work?   CHECK!

Family in town for a visit?  CHECK!

Great food?   CHECK!

Fireworks for the kids?   CHECK!

Cooler temps and rain?   CHECK!

Oh yeah, it's gonna be a great day!  With the rain last night and this morning, there's a smaller chance of some hoodlum setting a field or house or barn on fire.  I somehow made it through work yesterday , although I must admit it was hard to accomplish anything.  I'm ready to head to mom's as soon as I can get this family up and moving, but so far there are only 3/5 of us awake...at 8:00!

The dog is scared shitless of the fireworks...literally.  This is our first 4th of July with him, and every time we take him outside, something booms and he cowers against our legs.  Poor sap.  He's gonna explode soon if he doesn't go. LOL

Well, time to get this day started.  Be careful out there.  I don't know about the rest of the country, but in Missouri this is a day that folks mix large amounts of alcohol with explosives and flame.  Yup, that could get dangerous.  Watch your back, roll up the windows on any vehicle that's parked outside, and close the doors on the barn, for heavens sake!

Chuck Norris

Well, we found a babysitter late in the game, so we get to go to a friends house after all!  They plan to do an elaborate version of the Diet Coke/Mentos thing.  I've seen it done, but they're going all out.  I'll try to get pictures.

For today, I'll post something that I found at this site.  Kevin, Brett and I have had many chuckles over this stuff.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.

Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.

Have a great weekend, and I'll try to check in tomorrow!