not ecstatic

It was a very rough day at work, followed by a very frustrating night at home.  I know that it'll all be OK tomorrow, and I get to see my kids this weekend.  That's all that matters.  I love my house, I love my husband, I love and miss my kids.  Jonathan and Brett will be here this weekend, as well as the girls.  I can't wait.

I need to relax.  The problem is my fault.  It's fixable.  Kevin will fix it tomorrow at 1:00.  It's not a big thing.  I cried and felt stupid all night, for nothing.  Heck, we've been through so much in our 10 year marriage, this is laughable in comparison.  Maybe I'll elaborate later, but not tonight.  I feel beat down, ridiculed, and stupid.  I hate that feeling.

At least, at work, I feel smart and needed.  I feel valued and important.  It'll be good to get there tomorrow and solve problems, instead of creating them.  If someone makes a mistake, I am very forgiving...if I make a mistake, I'll beat myself up for days.  I made a mistake.  It's not easy walking around with your head in your butt, take my word for it. 

There's so much to remember when you move.  How could one little detail get missed?  How could that detail (not so little after all, dumbass) cause such problems?  How could those problems cause such tension?

I need to go to bed.  I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired of this.  OK, this is all very cryptic.  I'll explain tomorrow, when it's over.  Honest.