At tale of three kitties

Kevin and I hate cats.  We have both always hated cats.  I like big slobbery dogs.  Cats are aloof and don't need you.  They have to shit in the house, and I have to clean it up, but if I want to pet them, they aren't in the mood.  I hate cats.

We have 3 cats.  See, it wasn't planned.  We tried to instill in our children how evil cats are.  "They're useless and stupid" we said.  There was hope for the oldest 2, but Natalie wouldn't buy it.  She loves all animals.  Cows, pigs, horses, dogs, cats, goats...you name it.  Some friends of ours dropper-fed 4 kittens when their mother was hit by a car, and they wanted rid of all but one.  Daddy, the softy, caved.

We got three kittens, even though I was relatively sure they would grow into cats.  I was right.  They are litter-mates, but totally different in every way.  Brett's cat is the male (we found out at the first vet appointment).  His name is Sasquatch, since he was the biggest and hairiest.  He is cool because he has turned into a dog.  He'll play fetch with the cat toys, chase cards (Brett found this out when he was pitching cards out of bordom one night.)  He'll "sit pretty" and beg for a treat.

Monica's cat, Fudge, is the lovey one.  She'll curl up with you and purr so loud it rattles the windows.  She is Kevin's little buddy, and it's hard to get her out of our room once she's in.  She's playful and sweet and quite the little lady.

Then there's Snowbell.  She's an idiot.  I think the probable inbreeding (common in country cats) hit her most of all.  She walks into walls, get's tangled in WalMart bags, and once practically hung herself in a hammock (please don't ask why there was a hammock hanging in our basement...we're country folks stuck in town.)  She doesn't understand her name, "kitty kitty" or "come here stupid".  She really is a useless creature, but Natalie loves her more than the other kids could ever love their cat.

Natalie asked Kevin today, "Dad, do you have a nickname for my cat?"  Kevin looked puzzled and asked, "Why?"  "Well," says she, "You call Fudge, Fudgecicle, youcall Sasquatch, Sasquatcher (which he doesn't, that I know of??), so do you have a nickname for my cat?"  Her eyes were watching him so innocently.  He looked lovingly at her and said, "well, sometimes I call her 'Stupid'." 

That got they eye-roll and the drawn out "Daaaaaaaaad!" He said, "yeah, sometimes it's 'Retard'!"  She said "hey, that's mean!" and laughed as she walked away.  I'm glad our kids have a good sense of humor. 

It really is a useless cat, though.