My bottom smells bad

OK, folks, my bottom smells bad.

My car has no a/c and it got kind of hot today.  What?  Did you think I meant THAT?  You're nasty.

On my way home, I turn right about 5 miles from my home.  Three of those miles are through the river bottoms.  When it's hot, the temperature drops 10 degrees (at least) as I make this corner.  I cruise through the river bottoms, enjoying the cooler temps. 

In fact, if I stick my arm out the window JUST right, and lean forward, the cool air goes up my sleeve and around my back, sending chills up my spine as the sweat dries.  It is my FAVORITE part of the commute home.

HOWEVER.  However, this area has flooded recently.  It's flooded more than once.  Now, there is stagnant water standing there, and it smells.  Saying it smells is an understatement.  Have you ever smelled a shallow, stagnant pond?  Yeah, take that times 10.  It's bad.

So, tonight, I round the corner, feel the temperature drop, stick my arm out the window JUST right, and took a deep breath through my nose.

AARRRRRGGGGGG!!!!!!

I gagged a bit, curled my nose, and decided that I would deal with it.  Honestly, the smell is worth it.  Ever had cool air hit your arm pit during a hot day?  No?  Then you're a liar.  I know you've stepped in front of a fan, raising your shirt or positioning your clothing in a way that achieves maximum cooling.

I got home to a house that isn't half bad, even with a broken a/c unit.  Two fans makes it quite comfortable, and my electric meter thanks me.  Hell, if I knew it would never get over 90, I wouldn't even get it fixed for a while.  It WILL get over 90, though, so I guess we better have it looked at.

The next time someone tells you that their bottom stinks, wait for the whole story, OK?  Yeah, I know, nobody will EVER say those words to you again.  I'm OK with that.