Do you have problems? Do you wish you could get rid of them forever? Well, introducing, the Ronco Problematic™! The all new Ronco Problematic™ can solve your problems forever!
Does your husband leave whiskers in the sink? Problematic™! Do your kids fight about silly things? Problematic™! Do your pets refuse to come when called? Problematic™!
If you have a problem, from bad weather to annoying inlaws, the Ronco Problematic™ can take care of it for you! Simply follow the steps below, and watch your troubles disappear!
1) Identify the problem you are having.
2) Fold the problem in half.
3) Fold the problem 3-4 more times, depending on the size of the problem.
4) Place the problem in the Ronco Problematic™
5) Sit back and relax.
That's right, the Ronco Problematic™ will rid you of all problems. Just order this new product from www.problemssuckthelifeoutofme.com and enjoy a more relaxing life immediately.
That's right...the Ronco Problematic™!
Not sold in stores. Problems will not all be eliminated. Most problems need life skills, not stupid products. If you are disappointed, burned, or contaminated by this item, you can do nothing more than complain loudly, since we are already out of business. If, at any time, you need assistance using this item, you are screwed, buddy. Take some advice and get a life. Just deal with your problems and quit looking for an answer on late night TV. You're useless. Go to bed. Seriously, get over it already. You parents are praying for you. Put down the remote and get a job. The bourbon can only last so long. Cut the mullet off and apply for a real job, Sparky.
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3 comments:
I would have bought this because I didn't read the disclaimer. Lumpy would have, too.
Just a thought.
~Heather
Mullets scare me. I should go around offering people $10 just to cut them off and never have one again.
~Amy
Funny how many people really seem to just sit around on their fanny's waiting for one of these. - Barbara
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