Can I please have seconds?

On the way home, there was an extra large helpin' of idiots on the roadways.  Here are some tips for you idiot drivers out there:

1. If it is "rush hour", you should maybe consider going the speed limit.  Your POS car can't do 65?  Take another route.  Seriously.  This is an interstate at 5:00 PM.  45 is gonna get you killed.

2. If you need to turn left in 500 ft, and the car coming toward you in the other lane needs to turn left in 200 ft, it's best not to go into the turn lane at 300 ft.  I'm just sayin'.  You're both gonna sit there and look at each other like you're long lost cousins from a family tree that doesn't fork.  Fork you.

3. If you have a green arrow to turn right, you don't need to stop and spend 15 seconds looking for oncoming traffic before turning.  There is nobody coming.  Honest.  Now, I can understand the casual glance to make sure another like-minded idiot isn't running his light, but chances are, you're OK after a short glance.  Get outta my way.

4. I'm sure the person on the other end of your cell phone conversation is quite witty, but laughing at him/her until you almost side-swipe me is immediate cause for aggressive driving.  OK, I won't run you off the road or "pop a cap in yo' ass", but you WILL get "the look" and a bit of a scare as I drive by.  I'm just sayin'.

5. That semi that you're driving behind?  See him?  Yeah, he's gonna start that corner on green, and will be half-way done during yellow, but when he's done?  Yeah, it's gonna be red.  Don't just hop on as a tow bar and ride through on red, stopping traffic.  It's stupid and rude.

6. If you're going 45 in a 55 and I have plenty of time, I'm going to pass you.  It's not dangerous or risky.  I can see for 1/2 mile, and need much less than that to get around you.  There is no reason to give me "the look" (I coined that look, loser) or slam on your brakes.  We're good.  Just stop annoying me.  I wanna get home to the a/c.  My windows on the car are NOT down for the fresh air.  'Nuff said.

OK, that being out of my system, here's why I'm so grumpy:

1. I came home hot and sweaty, to find a big ol' Hawkeye poo in the hallway.  I could tell he'd been sick (I know, ewwwww, but you need to know he doesn't typically do this.)

2. After stripping off the jeans and cleaning up poo, I hadn't put on shorts yet.  I went to lower the window shade the last 2" and it fell the HELL out of the brackets.  There I am, t-shirt and drawers, in front of a window with no shade.  Lovely.

3. After fixing the shade, my cell phone rings.  My favorite aunt is moving...ACROSS THE FRIGGIN' STATE!  We don't see each other often enough, but she lives so close, I always know she's there.  When is she moving, you ask?  in 5 days!  ACK!

4. While trying to take all of this info in (I take some time to process big news), I walk toward the kitchen and see a big ol' pile of Hawkeye puke.  Yup, he was sick all right.  *sigh*

5. Now, I'm all amp'd from bad stuff, and I can't revel in my raise.  Damn communists.  I'm sure the communists are to blame.