My terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

I had a rough day at work.  We were working with about half-staff on the phones, but I was prepared for that.  The concert was great Saturday, and I worked all day Sunday at the local convention.  More on those later, maybe.  Anyway, I was prepared for a rough day, since the other half of customer service would be at the local convention today (half of us attended yesterday.)  I was prepared, and it was fine.

Calls were fast and furious, with too few people to answer, so I stepped up and took WAY more than my share.  Sound bad?  Nah, not to bad.  Then, at 4:40, an emergency broke out that I *might* be able to handle, but I wasn't sure.  By 5:59, I had it fixed and under control.  Yeah, I was feeling pretty cocky about my ability to display poise under pressure.  I'm JUST that good.  Yup.

Then, I headed home.

Yeah, home is better, right?

Nope.

I left work at 5:15, after waiting to see if my *fix* worked on the emergency.  It did, so I headed home with a head so swelled, it barely fit in my car.  I am JUST that good.  I called Kevin to make sure he was on the way to pick up the girls by 6.  He wasn't.  He was stuck at work and didn't know when he'd be done.  HUH?  How in the HELL would I make a 55 minute trip in 40 minutes?

I decided I'd deal with it and get there, so I drove like a friggin' idiot.  In and out of traffic I dodged... I was brilliant.  All the right lane choices, low traffic due to opening day for the Royals, and expert driving skills all combined to make me golden.  Then I looked down at the gauges.  Yup, practically out of fuel.

OK, fine.  I stopped for fuel, then took off again.  I got to Mom's at 6:02, after more ticket-worthy driving.  Awesome time.  No problem.  Then, I found out that the girls were arguing and fussing there.  Mom can handle that, but in less than 2 weeks, I have a sitter for the entire weekend, and they aren't known for being well-behaved for sitters.  Mom and I agreed that said sitter could call there if needed, and if a call was needed, spankings would be distributed.  They are too old to act like this.

So, I came home being frustrated by their behavior, but I was still invincible.  Still OK.  I got home to see that Brett's car was gone.  Where was he?  He probably asked, so I'll call in a minute.  I walked in to see NOTHING had been done by him.  Laundry hadn't been touched, dishes were still stacked, dogs were out of food.  I called.  He had asked to go play baseball with friends...I had said yes.  I remembered when he told me, but he still hadn't done ANYTHING!  I informed him that he would work his ASS off tomorrow.  OK, handled.

I decided that I needed to escape for a few minutes, so after Monica started chores and Natalie started homework, I went outside.  I tied the dogs out, sat a chair down, and drank a half-warm beer in the sunshine.  Oh, did I forget to mention that the back porch refrigerator was open 2 inches all day?  Yeah, it was.  Monica got me a soda this morning, and didn't get the door shut.  *sigh*  Half warm beer it is.  I immediately threw 2 in the freezer.

So, I sat outside and sipped my warm beer and watched the dogs eat grass/weeds which will surely result in green vomit on my floor.  No problem.  I had 20 minutes to be alone, right?  Wrong.  The girls came out and asked to ride their bikes down the street.  Chores and homework was done.  OK, but not barefoot.  "Go inside and put on shoes, and you can go" says the mother-of-the-year.  They came back out 42 seconds later in flip-flops.  I started to tell them "no" and "put on tennis shoes" but I didn't.

They headed down the road, and 10 seconds later, I hear screaming.  I ran down there, less than a block away, to see Natalie in a heap.  She started to go down and the flip flops didn't help.  She tore the end of her big toe damn near off.  She was screaming, neighbor kids were coming to check on her (bless their hearts) and Monica was beside herself.  I picked up her bike and helped her get home.

We got a wet cloth for her toe, and I suggested sitting on the edge of the tub withher foot in cold water.  In the bathroom, I see a "not quite completely flushed" toilet.  I flush it and it almost overflows.  Great.  I plunge the toilet and carry on with getting Natalie's tub filled with cold water.  As I'm getting Natalie settled, Monica came in saying the dogs' chains were tangled and she couldn't get them fixed.  ARRRGGGGGGGG!

I settled Nattie, and stomped outside.  As I'm unhooking the first dog and flinging her inside, Kevin pulled into the driveway, after a 12-hour day with no lunch break.  I tell him the short version in a grumpy tone as I untie the second tangled dog and fling her into the house.  He walks in and puts his stuff down.  I begged him to take over parenting so I can disappear for 5 minutes, and he agrees.

As Kevin sat on the closed, unclogged toilet and talked to Natalie, I sat on my bed, smoked a cigarette, drank a warm beer and cried.  I cried pretty hard, actually, then I got up and carried on.  I dried her toe (actually, *she* did it, so I didn't hurt her) then I bandaged it.  No PE tomorrow for her.  I got her settled and started thinking about Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.  If you haven't read it, you need to.  Maybe I'll go to Australia?

Nah, I still love my life.  I still love my family.  I just need a "do-over."  We get "do-overs" when needed, right?  No, wait.  I don't want to relive Monday.  I think I'll just try for a better Tuesday.