Just a warning, this
is going to sound bratty, ungrateful, and harsh. Don't read it if
you can't handle a stressed out woman.
I am having some extreme stress right now. Yes, I know Dad will
be fine. Yes, I believe that it's good to do this now, instead of
waiting until the problems were worse. Yes, I know. I'm
still freaking, though. During the past day and a half, the care
and concern at work is getting on my nerves. I know people are
being nice, and they really like me, and they are sincere. I'm
just not taking it well, but I do appreciate the concern. Still:
"Let me know if I can do anything." What are you going to
do? I live an hour from you, know you at work only, and you've
never met my Dad. There's nothing you can do.
"Are you all right?" No. No I'm not. I am sad and
scared and feeling lost and helpless. I am able to function, or I
wouldn't be here at work, but I'm far from OK.
"Any word on your Dad?" I updated everyone a half hour ago, and
have updated everyone each time I've heard something new. Why
would I suddenly leave you out?
"Why are you here?" My Dad is waiting. They aren't doing
surgery, they aren't running tests, they aren't doing anything.
I'm going to miss work for the surgery, but stop making me feel like a
cut-rate daughter for working during this day of waiting.
OK, it's off my chest. I tend to ask these same nonsense
questions when one of my friends is hurting. I know they feel
like they should say something, and don't know what to say. I
know they love me and they're sincere. I just had to unload that.
Thanks. Even if you think less of me now, thanks for letting me be me.
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11 comments:
pfft. You're entitled to be freaked out, pissed, and scared. I'd worry more if you weren't. It's always those quiet calm ones you gotta watch for, right? *wink*
big hugs at you...
~Amy
Don't appologize. You said nothing everyone who has been in similar circumstances hasn't thought at some time. But if there is some way, some errand or small matter someone can do for you, by all means take them up on it. It will lighten your load and bless them too. - Barbara
I got plenty of that judging when your Grandma was alive. There was nothing I could have accomplished by leaving my job and sitting with Mother. But I certainly got judged. I hated it. When you have a job, you can't just leave any time you want to.
Oh dear. Are you turning into me? You're not. Sweetie --- people just don't deal well with grief in this country. We say the same stock phrases because that's all we know how to do. Let it go and take care of yourself and your mom.
Love,
Russ
{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}} I will be there in prayer today.
LOL get it out girl! This is your space to air.
Terrie
people just don't know what to say so sometimes they say crazy stuff. i am sure they all mean well though.
I guess it would get tiring hearing the same thing all day long.
Kathy
((((Rachel))))....totally normal feelings you are having there. When my dad was sick I would get so irritated with people being "nice" and "caring". I think, for me, it was the fact that hearing someone else offer support and help was only reinforcing in my mind that my dad really WAS sick. I didn't want to hear it because I didn't want him to be ill. I think that your response is totally appropriate....and we are all here to listen and not judge. Prayers to all of you!!!!
Well, kiddo, I would feel the same way. I'm praying for you and your family right now and I want to thank you for updating us J-Landers as you have been. Blessings, Penny http://journals.aol.com/firestormkids04/FromHeretoThere
I certainly don't "think less of you!" I know something of what you're going through, and it's natural and normal for you to feel that way. It doesn't matter what other people think--and you're really being very nice about it. When someone is ill, we don't know exactly what to do--other than ask how they are, or how the person close to them is. We're uncomfortable--and so we ask, offer help (knowing, or at least hoping, we won't be called upon to help). And, on the other side of the fence, we don't realize how much our concern can stress the person we're concerned about. I know I got so tired of repeating the same things to the same people.
Just know that we're here, with you all in our thoughts and prayers.
I certainly don't think less of you. I would feel the same way. You continue to be you. You and your family are in my prayers.
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