Well, I'm off
on another trip tomorrow. I will wake up at 3:30 to leave home by
4:30 to arrive at the airport at 6:00 for a 7:15 flight.
Sheesh. I'm mostly packed, but will have to throw in the last
minute stuff in the morning. Toothbrush, deodorant, etc can't be
packed until I am done with them in the wee hours tomorrow. I
usually look forward to work trips, but this one, although I love the
customer I'm visiting, leaves me with a weird feeling. I'm
worried about the flight, worried about parking, worried about the
timing of the flight home (gotta trick-or-treat, ya know) and generally
worried. I'm not sure why, but I have reservations.
Kevin gets a bit on the sad
side when I am out of town. Not down-right depressed, but sad and
quiet. I worry about that. If he has something to do, he's
fine, but we accomplished most of our weekend tasks today, so he could
easily lie down to watch TV and find himself sad and lonely. I
hope that doesn't happen. Frankly, I hope it rains. If it
rains, Mom and Dad will be home, and Kevin can visit them and help Dad
with some project.
Brett got busted lying
again. It's been going on for years, so I should be used to it,
but I'm not. He doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't sulk in
his room for days on end. I should be thankful for that, I
know. His addiction is sneaking and lying. He sneaks snacks
and the Diet Coke that is intended for the adults lunches. He
hides the evidence, then lies about where they went. "Where did
the 5 missing Diet Cokes go?" "I don't know, Mom, REALLY! I
have NO idea!" He acts so incredulous that I want to believe
him. Then we find the empty cans hidden in a storage
closet. Sheesh. It's just so disappointing to be lied to so
blatently. Spit in my face...it'd be less disturbing.
Hell, I hate leaving town
with this cloud hanging over the house. He's grounded for a week,
and his MP3 player has been confiscated. It's new, so that will
hurt more than most things.Ya know what, though? It won't
matter. When he's out of trouble, with free time again, he'll
sneak and lie again. I hate the thoughts I have when this
happens. Sometimes I think that, if I can make it another year
and a half, he will be off to college or work or the Army. I feel
like shit for feeling that way, but he's done me wrong so many
times. All I can do is forgive him again and move on.
That's what parents do, right?
Well, enough depressing
crap. If things go well, we'll be back in our hotel rooms fairly
early tomorrow evening. That will give me time to post an entry,
chat online, and get some good ZZZ's. I need to go to bed
now. 3:30 will come way too soon. See ya from Ft. Worth
tomorrow!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Sing along with me: "Isn't it fun to be a parent, isn't it fun? Isn't it fun to be a parent, isn't it fun? Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday and all day Sunday, isn't it fun to be a parent, isn't it fun?" Oh yeah, one more time!
I guess that's the hardest part of parenting . . .the times when you're upset enough to want to chuck the baby out with the bath water. You know it will happen again, but the mommy part . . .always hoping that next time things will be different. It's okay - I know lots of us have felt that way more times than we'd care to admit. We just keep on prayin'. Blessings, Penny
I was such a jerk as a teen. And I smoked (pot and cigs), drank & lied all the time. He'll be moving out soon and all this worrying is just putting gray hairs on your head.
He'll figure out how to become an honest man soon enough. Time.
Have a good and safe trip. I love you, Applesause!!!
Post a Comment