I'm OK

I get sick of choosing "chillin'" as a mood, but it is the closest I can find to "content".

Work was OK today.  Just normal stuff.  I got a lot done, left very little for others, since I'm gone on Monday (flying home) and they have little reason to gripe about extra work load.  They shouldn't gripe anyway...heck, I cover for them when they're gone, so heck with it.  I'm OK.

I haven't ridden Buddy in over two months, yet I'm sad he's gone.  He wasn't the right horse for my situation.  Nobody could ride him but me, and I couldn't ride him.  He had turned into a hay-burning accessory.  Not good.  I'll have a horse.  I'll have a horse that anyone can ride and that I have time to ride regularly.  He's friendly and fun and energetic, but he's a waste if nobody rides.  I'm OK.

Tomorrow morning, I'll head to the lab.  I have to get my business cards and stuff packed into my bag (I won't check, I'll carry on...I won't risk losing luggage) and then I have some work to do.  I'm meeting a customer there at 11:30 to show him around the lab.  That'll burn about 45 minutes.  At 12:30, Michelle and I will head to the airport for a 2:15 flight.  Plenty of time, since we're not checking luggage.  I gotta get some matches...no lighters on flights now.  I can get matches...I'm OK.

We have a layover that's a bit over an hour in Charlotte, NC.  I can deal with that.  It's another airport to experience.  I like airports.  Call me a freak, but I am a people watcher.  It'll be fun.  Maybe I'll grab a beer or something.  My kids all want a "Sky Mall" from the plane, and I'll collect peanuts or pretzels, or whatever for them.  They like it when I come home with goodies.  I'm OK.

I will kiss my husband and kids in the morning, see Mom and Dad briefly, go to work, see a customer, fly to SC, see the ocean for the first time, post a journal entry from the hotel, and fall asleep in a strange place, all in the matter of 12 hours.  I'm OK.

I love my life.  I love my job.  I love travelling to places I wouldn't otherwise see.  I love having a husband that picks up the slack when I'm gone.  I love coming home to my own bed after a trip.  I have more than many rich folks could ever hope for.  Envy *THIS*, rich folks!  I'm happy...can you say that?  I'm OK.

A better day

OK, sorry 'bout yesterday's depressing post.  Let me counter my gripes from yesterday:

"My horse is gone"  yes, he is.  I haven't ridden in more then 2 months, and don't have time between work, kids, dinner, and life.  I love that little guy, but there is a better horse out there, maybe not born yet, who will be perfect for me when my youngest heads off to college.

"The kids are fighting bed time"  Yeah, they usually do.  They are kids.  Fortunately, they are better than most.  If they get rowdy, I call them on it, and they quit promptly.  I have good kids, and I need to be thankful for it.

"Mom has no internet" She does, now.  It's all fixed.

"My bathroom lacks floor covering"  You know what?  The floor is down, the toilet and shower are working.  I can deal without linoleum for a while.  I'm not proud, dangit!

"My dog is a liar"  Yeah, he's still lying.  If he walks with Kevin at 5:15, he's still telling me that he hasn't been out at ALL at 5:30, when I get up.  Lying dog.

"Gas is too high"  I'm standing by this one, but...a BIG 'but', we're making it.  Although I still consider our family "poor", since we live check-to-check, we are also "rich", since we have dinner each night, a roof over our heads, and can afford to put gas in our cars.  God has blessed us, indeed.

"We're almost out of dog food"  I bought some tonight.  We weren't completely out, but it ticks me off to call home and say "do we need anything else?" and be told "no" by the boy, only to come home and find out there's very little dog food.  Poor kid can't catch a break, since I was grumpy last night. Sorry, Brett.

Now, tonight is better.  All of life's woes aren't gone, but we have dog food, we have a cheaper car to drive for a while, Dad is happy about the horse being gone (less hay to feed this winter, and I'm happy when daddy's happy), Mom's internet is back and the kids will be asleep soon.  That's how much difference a day makes.  I'll be fine.

In 48 hours, I'll be landing in Myrtle Beach, SC.  I've never seen that end of the country, and I'm stoked about it.  I'll take pics, buy cheap souveniers for my family, and post an amazing journal entry or two.

Life's not bad, life is good.  Mood swings come with the territory, when  you're a female.  Sorry, Kevin.

blah blah blah

My horse is gone (probably won't have another until the kids are grown).  The kids are fighting bed time (that makes for a rough morning tomorrow).  Mom has no internet (two days, now).  My bathroom lacks floor covering (the leak is fixed, but no linoleum).  My dog is a liar (yes, Hawkeye, you took a walk tonight.  No, it was only 1/2 hour ago...)  Gas is too high (I gotta get an economy car).  We're almost out of dog food (I was just at WalMart).

***Sigh***

Stuff

I chose "anxious" as my mood, although "depressed" would be a better description.  I feel like I've been socked in the gut tonight.  I go on with life, trying to be upbeat and carry on, but the facts are the facts.

People died in hurricanes.  People are displaced due to hurricanes.  People need medication, hot meals, and fresh water.  I have all those.  I can't wrap my head around it, but I'm trying.  Then, today, another blow.

A VERY good customer and VERY sweet lady, one of my favorites, had a tragedy.  They live in Colorado and have two studios.  They are patient and kind, soft-spoken and loving.  They found their 12-year-old son in his treehouse the other night.  He had (probably) hung himself.  TWELVE. FRIGGIN'.YEARS.OLD.  12.  A little boy, really.  Just a little boy of 12.  Why? 

I have no words.  What do I say to this super lady.  "Oh, sorry your son killed himself."?  I think not.  Suicide is the most selfish, ugly thing a depressed person can do to his/her family.  If you life is that bad, do you wish that on your family members?  I have always been angry at anyone who commits suicide, but 12?  Holy Shit.  Misery has a new level.

God Bless you and your family, Mary.  God grant you peace and understanding.  My prayers and thoughts are with you tonight, and for many nights to come.  There will be no understanding for you for many years, so I won't blow smoke.  Just know that you have support.

Damn.

More pics, the hard way

I finally loaded pics the long way, dangit.  Anyway, we had a good Sunday, and Kevin's mom and sister left noonish.  We got the yard done and fell into bed, exhausted.  Today was a day...let's leave it at that.  4 more days of work before I go to South Carolina.  I can handle 4 days, right?  yeah, I can.

Damn Chiefs are losing.  My heart can't take this crap.  Stop with the penalties, already!  Sheesh!

More weekend pics

I'm frustrated that the Chiefs are losing to Denver.  I'm frustrated that I need a/c during the day and am cold at night.  Most of all, I'm frustrated that YGP won't work right now.  DAMN!

A good day

We had a good day.  I didn't have to work, and Brett had to be up early for Saturday school (don't skip school, kids) so I took full advantage.  As soon as he showered and ate breakfast, we headed out to take pictures.  I don't have enough pics of Brett, and I want to practice for senior pics.  I think I did OK, for a first time shot.

Kevin's mom came up for the weekend, with his sister Susan and her son Steven.  The kids played SO hard.  We had a good time.  We BBQ'd pork chops, watched some TV and visited.  I miss Susan.  We used to talk on the phone all the time.  I miss Linda.  We talked a lot when she was here this summer.

Tomorrow, I plan to take many more pictures of everyone.  Don't say you weren't warned.

I've been tagged by Toonguy, so here is my entry for the sentence assignment:

1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the 5th sentence of that post.
4. Post text of sentence with these instructions.
5. Tag 5 other people to do the same:

I picked entry 22, since the 23rd was pictures and one sentence.  The 24th was about deaths, and the 5th sentence was a wordy run-on about my grandma's death.  This is a bit bland, but it was Christmas time, so it's happy.

"Everyone was happy with the gifts."

There ya have it.  I don't know who to tag, since most have been tagged by others already.  How about Groovy, Celeste, Kat, and my mother, Mosie (double tag.)  That's only 4, but I don't have that many readers.

Survivor Night!

Beer: Check
Pringles: Check
IBC for the kids: Check
Frozen Pizza in the oven: Check

Yup, we're all ready for Survivor.  The kids are kicking out the homework, so they'll be done in time.  The dog has been walked.  The important journals have been checked.  Email has been checked.  Shoes off, contacts traded for glasses.  Yup, we're ready.  I love this dang show. 

If anyone wants to join my fantasy league tribe, leave a comment and I'll send ya an invite.  Don't email me at aol, I never check it.

Goodbye Alice

I am an idiot.  Let's just start this entry out with total honesty.  I am a total, blithering idiot.  There you have it.

Mom's journal entry today explained that an important part of my life is going away.  I knew that Alice was for sale.  Dad's half-heartedly tried to sell her a couple of times.  I never took him seriously.  He priced it out of most folks' range.  She'd be around forever.

I helped haul hay with this tractor.  I could run this tractor through any task put before me.  I could pull huge logs out of the deep hollers, knowing it was going to flip over, with dad standing on the back behind me saying, "Keep her goin' Sis, you're doing great!"  I believed him whole-heartedly.  I knew I wouldn't flip over on Alice, and I trusted my Daddy.

I would haul hay in the 100+ heat, sick as a dog, because I had come home drunk as a teenager.  All I had to do is drive, but it was punishment enough.  What a rude awakening.

We had a family reunion this year.  A kid wanted to drive a tractor, and Dad had them all lined up in the pasture, so the shop would be empty for eating and visiting.  This small child picked the John Deer, but I talked him into riding Alice.  "You don't want to ride THAT little thing...let's ride the POWERHOUSE!" I told him.  He bought into it, and we took a spin around the pasture.

The John Deer is fine.  It's modern and handy and great.  Blah Blah Blah.  I'll never accept it as Alice's replacement.  Never.  I read that entry and cried like a damn baby.  My girls couldn't understand why I was crying.  I told them that it was stupid to cry for a tractor, but that I couldn't help it.  They said it wasn't stupid, and Monica even brought me a roll of toilet paper to blow my nose, while I sat on the back porch with a cigarette crying like an idiot.

I knew it was for sale.  Mom told me it was probably sold tonight when I picked up the girls.  I was OK.  I saw it in writing on her journal, and broke down.  Damn, I'm an idiot, but I warned you of that when you started reading this entry.

I love you Alice.  Goodbye.

More work around the house

Well, we woke up early to an AMAZING thunder storm.  I love a good storm.  It was short lived, but awesome.  After the girls left for church with Grandma, we got right to work on the porch.  We worked until we were out of lumber, and it's looking good.  We're getting better at it, too.  Today didn't involve ANY "clean-up" cuts along the edges.  It's gonna be great.

Mom invited us over for chili, and with sawdust covering my home, I had to accept.  It was great chili, too.  Then back home for more work.  Kevin mowed the lawn, I painted Natalie's room.  I think two coats is enough, but we'll see what it looks like tomorrow.  The kids all have dark paneling, so the rooms are dark.  Very dark.  We've been here for almost 4 months, yet I've NEVER been able to take a pic down there.  Wooohoooo!  Today I did it!

More home improvement to come, but I'm pooped right now.  Pooped and watching the Chiefs game!

More home improvements

I went to work from 7:30-12:30 today.  As soon as I got home, I started nagging Kevin.  "What tools do I need to get from dad?  What should I look for?"  He went himself, and got what we needed, and we got started.  We are going for a rough, western look to the back porch.  This is gonna work great.  He got the pine boards cheap because they have a bow to them, or a twist, or a nail-hole or two.  These normally $6 boards were bought for 5 cents each.  I love a bargain, as well as a husband who works at a lumber yard.

We found that, with the toilet off and nobody TOUCHING that bathroom, there was still a slow drip in the basement.  We tracked it until we realized that it's coming from behind the tub.  DAMN!  Who wants to pull the tub and tile?  Not me, dangit.  We called the mortgage insurance folks again, and they're gonna contact us to let us know if there is a recommended plumber in the area.  If not, we'll have to pay it again, and get reimbursed.  The well of money is running dry, folks.

It felt good to do so much for my house today.  Now, I look for western/cowboy decorations.  I already have many ideas, including horseshoes for hooks, a barrell for a bar-heighth table, and a cactus or two in the corners.  I can't wait until it's done.  We don't have enough wood to finish all of the walls, but we'll get close.  I don't want to pay full price, so we'll have to wait for more rejects to be returned from job sites.

Well, I've done more carpentry work today than ever in my life, and I'm bushed.  We'll get back at it bright and early in the morning.  More pictures to come!

 

More useless crap

Well, it was another day.  I bought a couple of pairs of jeans today, out of necessity.  I couldn't really afford them, Walmart or not, but I had to have them.  I've gone down a couple of sizes since spring.  I have an odd body, though, so jeans don't fit right.  My waist is too small, or my ass is too big (trust me, it's the latter) so if jeans fit everywhere else, they have gaps in the waist.  Damn. 

So I made a decision this morning, that today would be a GREAT day.  I kept telling myself (and others) and it worked.  Today was pretty good.  I kicked butt and got a lot done.  Tomorrow, I have to work from 7:30-12 in a training session, so I can't work at my desk.  It's ok, I'll make up for it.  I'm trying to change my attitude, put my nose down, and work until 5.  If I try real hard, I'm sure I can get more done.  Ummm, sort of sure.  LOL

At 4:30 today, my favorite aunt called to invite Kevin and I to dinner at a local eatery.  Mom agreed to keep the girls an extra hour or two (thanks, Mom!) and we went.  I am glad we did.  I love Aunt Charlene.  She's the greatest.  Pat, her husband, is the bomb, too.  They are so much fun.  A couple of folks from work showed up (Pat and Charlene used to work where I work now) and we had a good time.

I picked the girls up at 7:20, thinking that Big Brother was on at 8.  I noticed at 7:45 that I was missing it, an only caught the last 10 min.  Damn.  It's ok, Survivor is in full swing, and I'll get over it.  Last night, we had all of the pomp and circumstance that Survivor deserves, and it was great.  It's a family event around here.  We enjoyed it, although Monica could have done without the puking scenes (dehydration does a number on a body.)

Well, I better go to bed.  I have to get up by 5:30 if I'm gonna be to work on time.  I hate training days.  B.O.R.I.N.G.  I know more than they could DREAM to tell me.  Just train those that have buried their heads in the sand.  Don't force it on all of us!  Oh well.  See ya tomorrow night!

Random blather

Well, many things are happening.  We replaced the section of floor under the toilet, but didn't have time to put the toilet back on.  The next night, I was in the basement and saw a drip.  HUH?  There is NO water running in the bathroom, and the toilet isn't even seated.  After some investigation, we realized that it is probably coming from the water pipes to the tub.  Shit.  no....I mean, SHIT!  Now we call the mortgage insurance folks again.  They finally paid for the electric stuff that was NOT preapproved, so maybe we have a chance.

Tuesday, when I got to work, I realized I had a low tire on the van.  Crapola.  We have a portable air tank, as well as a compressor at work, so I timed out a few minutes early and had a maintainance dude meet me at the dock.  He inflated the tire and offered much unwanted advice on what to do about it.  Shut up, air it up, and go away.  I'm fine.  Kevin planned to check the tire in the morning and make sure all was good.  Kevin overslept.

I went out at 6:30 to take the girls to Grandma's, and my tire was worse than the day before.  Not flat, but way too low.  I drove slowly to mom and dad's house, took the girls in, and got the key to the shop.  I didn't know where Dad kept the impact wrench, so I used the tire tool.  I will never make a pit crew, but I was done in about 20 minutes.  Not bad for a chick.

Kevin told me to swap vehicles with him (he felt bad for forgetting, and I was unsure how well my "stomping" did at tightening the lug nuts) so I grabbed the truck.  Hubba hubba.  That is what rush hour SHOULD be like.  Power house Ford...that's what I'M talkin' about.

He had me drive the truck today, just to be sure.  Oh yeah, punish me! LOL  It was awesome, and I made record time.  Tonight was Survivor.  Yeah, that takes on a whole new meaning in this house.

During seasons of Survivor, Thursday nights are VERY special.  It means buying IBC root beer for the girls, Pringles for everyone, and beer for the adults.  The house is in a frenzy until 7:00.  Homework, dinner, showers, then at 7 everythingstops cold!  SHHHHHH, Survivor is on.  What a great season is promises to be.  I'm glad to see Stephanie back, and glad to see how tough the challenges are going to be.

Well, I think I've covered most of the nonsense.  I didn't mention Brett's grounding, but that's another story for another day.  I didn't mention my plans for the pumpkin patch, but that's another story for another day.  I didn't mention my odd affection for Pringles...oh wait, yeah I did. 

See ya!

Home improvement

Our bathroom has had a wet spot between the toilet and tub.  It wasn't going away, and seemed to be getting worse.  We decided yesterday that we couldn't ignore it any more.  We ripped up the old ugly carpet (my picture didn't stay on the computer.  That ticked me off...it was some BAD carpet!)

The problem was a rotten seal under the toilet.  The damage under there was unbelievable.  Thankfully, the subfloor was in good shape.  We dug it all out, put a fan on it until it was dry, and put down a new piece of water resistant flooring.  It took forever!  Now, we are all using the bathroom previously known as "Brett's" and hope to have this one working again before the week is out.  I'll have more pictures as we get it all fixed.

I replaced our kitchen faucet while Kevin did all of this work.  It took longer than it should have, and gave me an appreciation for the fees that plumbers charge.  Hard water and time had done a number on those connections.  I was proud and beat by the time I had it back together.  There are many more projects to come, but it feels good to do them...for MY house!

The 7's

I've been tagged more than once, so it's my turn.  Here goes:

7 Things I Plan To Do Before I Die :

1.  Tour the US in an RV
2.  Have a $1000 cushion in my bank account
3.  Have nice furniture throughout the house
4.  See my kids graduate from college 
5.  Write a kids book or two
6.  Keep a clean house
7.  Go on a Caribbean Cruise

7 Things I Can Do :

1.  Change oil, change tires, check fluids and refuel a car
2.  Make someone laugh out loud
3.  Fix most minor computer problems
4.  Fix your screw-up without anyone ever knowing it happened
5.  Listen to your problems without offering advice (unless you ask for it)
6.  Talk a customer out of mad, and into trust in my ability to fix the problem
7.  Make the best lasagna you've ever had

7 Things I Can't Do:

1.  Tolerate other people's bratty children 
2.  Control my tears.  If I'm gonna cry, I'm gonna cry.
3.  Fry chicken
4.  Lift heavy things
5.  Run
6.  Eat anything with sugar before 10:00 am
7.  Back a winning sports team

7 Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex:

1.  sense of humor
2.  respect for women
3.  broad shoulders
4.  kind eyes
5.  ability to fix things
6.  strong work ethic
7.  muscles, muscles, muscles

7 Things I Say Most Often:

1.  "Groovy"
2.  "Sweet Merciful Crap!" (stolen from Homer Simpson)
3.  "I don't FREAKIN' think so, Sparky!" (anyone can be Sparky)
4.  "Don't MAKE me stop this car!" (I'm not always driving when I say this.)
5.  "Oh Crikey!" (complete with very bad Australian accent)
6.  "Am I the ONLY one with a BRAIN around this joint?" (reserved for work)
7.  "Carry on, my wayward son" (not reserved for my son...odd)

7 Celebrity Crushes :

1.  Trace Adkins (Country music hottie)
2.  James Denton (Desperate Housewives hottie)
3.  Sam Elliott (grey hair hottie)
4.  Kurt Russell (great smile hottie)
5.  Burt Reynolds, 25 years ago (not now...ewww)
6.  Travis Tritt, 10 years ago (country hottie has-been)
7.  Tony Gonzalez (KC Chief hottie)

7 people you want to do this.

I'm not doing this part.  Most folks have done it, and those who haven't, should.  I'd love to see more answers.

Summer's Last Weekend

Well, I'm trying to enjoy this long weekend to the fullest.  No more relaxation until Christmas.  Work will get busier and busier until I'm working 6-7 days per week and 10 hours a day.  It's nice to have a long weekend to get prepared for that.

Kevin left early Saturday morning, so the girls and I hung out around here and cleaned house.  My friend and her son came over and wound up spending the night.  We had a few beers, and she is too smart to drive after drinking.  She brought her weiner dog with her, and he and Hawkeye played pretty well together.

Yesterday, we lazed around here, lazed around at Mom's, then lazed around here some more.  I was in bed by 10 last night, but up around 2 worried about Brett.  He was back shortly after 2, but I couldn't go back to sleep until 5!  Today has been lazy again.  Finally made some hot dogs and onion rings for lunch, and the kids helped me clean up afterwards.  Kevin should be home in an hour or so.

Brett has a girlfriend that lives quite a distance from here.  I worry about that, with him being a junior in high school.  I wish he'd find someone that he could actually "go out" with.  He seems to have the idea I'm putting an end to their relationship, but that's not my plan.  That's a bad move, forbidding a kid to see someone.  I just want him to call her at normal times of day (not 2 am) and keep his options open.  And to think, I have 2 girls who will be teens at the same time!  ACK!

I guess I'll go laze around some more.  It's been a good plan so far, why mess it up?

Quit bitching...NOW!

Here's the deal.  This is for everyone I work with, everyone I'm related to, and everyone I may come into contact with.  Shut the HELL UP!  I'm sick of it.  How DARE you gripe about gas prices?  How DARE you complain about needing new shoes? How DARE you wish you had more than a three day weekend?  How DARE you complain about being tired.

How DARE I gripe about no dryer?  How DARE I gripe about a dirty house?  How DARE I whine about the dog needing a walk?

The pictures are from my drive in this morning.  The sunrise was incredible this morning.  I have a great job, all utilities, a safe family, and relaxation.  I sit here, my fat ass surfing the 'net while listening to the TV.  I am tempted to wish for more.  Screw that.

There are people, not all that far away, with NOTHING.  We have customers who lost it all.  We have customers who can't get food.  We have customers who we haven't heard from.  They could be dead.  How DARE we be so arrogant as to bitch about fuel prices?  Yeah, I can't afford it either, but my family is healthy and safe.  Thank you, God.

I didn't post captions for the pictures.  They don't need captions.  That is enough to be thankful for.  I'm tired of crying.  I don't know what to do, so I cry.  I might be able to donate $20.  What's $20?  Nothing.  I can't do anything. 

Damn.