Visa

Having the husband buy a new OS to solve issues: $98.

Finding a router manual online: 2 hours of my precious time

Having history "mysteriously" deleted when the 16 yo has been online: Priceless

(all credit for the above joke is given to my dear husband)

What this means is: I fixed our ongoing problem!  We have NEVER been able to get more than a random 2 of our 3 PC's online at once.  Drove me crazy. I tried to view the router settings but it asked for a password that I didn't have.  I finally found the manual online and saw the default password.  Viola'!  It was set for 2 connections!  I changed that, we all rebooted and THREE FRIGGIN' PC'S ARE ONLINE AT ONCE!  It's a couch potato Utopia.

This has nagged at me for weeks.  I am that stubborn.  I can't just be happy that we have 3 PC's and any 2 can be online at once.  10 years ago, I would have never dreamed of being on the "information superhighway", let alone surfing next to my husband, while the kids listen to online videos downstairs.  It's an amazing world we live in.  I'm as happy as a pig in mud!

Cats

We got the cats a new climbing/hiding spot.  I found it at a local junk store for $5, and they love it!  Tonight, after fighting and making noise for hours, they crashed.  Fudge is upstairs in our bed, but the other two offered a great photo op!

In the first pic, Snowbell is asleep inside, after losing many battles with Sasquatch.

In the second pic, you see her tucked safe inside!

In the last pic, you see how Sasquatch doesn't fit very well on top, but it doesn't bother him!  You have no idea how many times I've seen him fall in the middle of a nap, simply because he has NO idea how big he is!

Reformatting my life

When Kevin got his new PC, it had XP on it.  The old PC has ME, which we hate.  I tried to reformat the hard drive to get rid of all the crap that comes with use.  It got to 65% 3 times and errored out.  Wouldn't do it.  Finally, I reformatted with Kevin's reinstall XP disc.  It worked great, but told me that I had 30 days to "authenticate" it. (I don't remember the word, but it's not the same as registering)  Several people told me that it wouldn't work on a second system, but I was willing to ride out those 30 days.  Those days ended last weekend.

I decided to try ME again, and it reformatted flawlessly!  I think it was so unstable before, that it wouldn't allow it.  I reformatted last night, and life was good.  I didn't d/l the antivirus, thinking I would do it tonight.  I forgot that the 16 yo was home today.  He SOOOO screwed everything up.  He still doesn't admit to doing so much as launching a browser, but I had 12 programs running that I don't recognize.  Those annoying types that come with downloads.  I couldn't uninstall most of them.  I couldn't reformat!  Hell, I decided to start over again, and they were all still there.  I was so mad at that boy! 

Kevin stopped at WalMart on the way home for cold medicine (he's dyin', I swear) and while he was there, picked up a copy of Win XP!  We can't afford it, but damn if it didn't fix all my problems!  I loaded it, load AOL for the kids, set up all of the logons as "user" except for mine (you ain't downloadin' shit, boy) and life is good!  I hate that he spent the money, but at the same time, I'm glad to have control back.  I HATE Win ME.  It is a crap system that should have allowed XP as a free patch.

Anyway, that's how I spent my evening.

What to do with a day off

This happens every time I have a weekday off.  I feel a little guilty, like I've called in sick or something.  I never call in sick, even when I'm truly sick, but I sit here at 8:45, wondering what the folks at work are thinking about me not being there.  Ummm, HELLO!  Nobody is there to give a crap!  I even checked my voicemail to see if there was any emergency that needed my attention.  Is that self-centered or what?  No messages.

I *am* having a nice relaxing morning.  I *am* glad I have this time off.  I *do* need to recharge my batteries...I just feel...strange.  It makes no sense to feel this way.  Most people take a day off without giving work a single thought...right?  I'm so weird.

A simple copy/paste

"If there is at least one person in your life whom you consider to be a close freind, and who you would not have met without the internet, post this sentence in your journal."

I stole this from another online bloggin' spot, but really like the idea!  Anyone?

Rough year? or Looking forward.

The week between Christmas and New Year always lends itself to reflecting upon the year that has almost ended.  Good memories, bad memories, frustration and elation.  I'm doing my usual reflecting today, and it's amazing how many things happened this year.

My grandma passed away.  While it was expected and necessary at the age of 92, and she was more than ready, it still hit me harder than I thought it would.  I have no grandparents now.  She was so miserable toward the end, and usually confused, but there was something about knowing she was still around.

Mom took me to TX to visit my aunt.  It was my first time flying, seeing the ocean (I don't care what you say, Kevin, it's the ocean.  It's too big to see across, it's full of ocean water...it's the ocean) and visiting Mexico.  What a great time we had.

Kevin's brother was killed.  When you have a firefighter in the family, you know the risks and you hold your breath each time you hear sirens go by.  There is, however, no possible way to prepare yourself to lose someone that is such a larger-than-life part of your family.  I hope someday we can come to grips with it, but right now, we can't.

I travelled 3 times for work.  Although the time of year wasn't ideal for these locations, and it's hard to leave the family, I had a great time.  I went to Michigan once and Indianapolis twice.  These trips are a lot of work, but it's cool to meet in person the customers that we talk to so frequently on the phone.

I got a couple of substantial pay raises.  If we had somewhere affordable to live, we'd be quite comfortable for the first time in our marriage.  Even paying the ridiculous rent that we are, we can afford little things that were only a dream before. 

I have gotten closer to my parents this year than I've ever been.  I've always enjoyed being around them (well, since I've grown up enough to appreciate them!) but we seem to tighten the bond consistantly.  My girls are growing up wth such close relationships to their grandparents.  They will cherish the memories forever.

Another first in our marriage:  We have two dependable vehicles.  Sure, my van has very high mileage, sucks gas, and looks a bit rougher than it did when we bought it, but I'm very confident to climb in and drive it anywhere I need to go.  Kevin's truck payment is too high, but it's SUCH a nice truck!  He is so proud, since he's always driven the "junkers" of our cars.

It's impossible to judge this year as "good" or "bad" with the vast mix of events.  I suppose if I have grown as a person, become stronger, or done my best, I'd have to say it's good.  I hope the good outweighs the bad in 2005, so that next years' reflection is more positive.

I had to delete and repost this due to some odd html/font problems.  It seems to be fixed, but who knows?

More Christmas

Here are some images from Christmas '04

The best Christmas Ever!

Tonight was awesome.  Mom and Dad came over, and the kids opened presents.  They were very happy with what they got.  Then Aunt Charlene and (uncle?)  Pat came over and life was good.  Everyone was happy with the gifts.  I had to leave for a bit and take Brett to his dad's, and Aunt Charlene rode along.  When we got back to find everyone else watching Dad's gift from us..."Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again".  They were laughing so hard that I was worried about the state of my couch. 

We all had a great laugh and when it was over, we traded stories.  It was so much fun...I don't have the words.  I love my family.  Hick, backwoods, weird, freakin' ODD people.  I love them all.  I can't wait until tomorrow...'cause I can see them again.

I sang karaoke with my girls.  I suck.  It was fun.

I have four days off.  It rocks.

I love my parents.  They rock.

I love my husband.  He rocks.

I love my aunt.  Her husband rocks.

Sorry, that dig was aimed at my aunt who will never see this, but she would SO get the joke if she had internet access.

My time with Kevin

Kevin and I have been married for 9 1/2 years, and it seems we never have enough time together.  We went on a date a couple of weeks ago, but that seemed so short.  When I'm working all of this overtime, he is both Dad AND Mom to the kids, and I get home, exhausted, and fall asleep.  The little moments that we cherish are few and far between.

Now, though, my OT seems to have ended.  I am going to work at a normal time, and getting home on time.  We are talking and laughing and watching TV.  Our computer desks are 3 feet apart, and the kids are happy, so we're making the most of the night.

We are both surfing www.findvideos.com and having a ball.  He listens to rock and heavy metal, I listen to country.  We take turns playing a favorite, or new, video.  It's an even trade.  He plays some that I hate, some that I find interesting, and others that I think I could listen to on a regular basis.  He is appreciative of MY music, and really enjoys some of it, while tolerating others. 

We have laughed, grumbled, and had a blast.  Love means never having to make excuses for your taste in music, right?  Gosh, I miss Kevin.  This is nice.  It is reminding me why I married him.  He is funny, kind, and unique.  Here's to you, honey!

The story of the dry sink

When Kevin's mom, Linda, was married to Denton, he worked a job that was hard on his resiratory system.  After many years, it had taken it's toll, and his Doctor told him to switch careers.  The state of Missouri put him through occupational rehabilitation and sent him off to school.  He got a teaching degree in industrial arts. 

For his senior project, he had to build something.  He found someone with some old oak boards lying around, and asked to purchase them.  The guy gave them to him to get them out of his way.  He planed and sanded and made this man's "trash" into his own "treasure".

He built this dry sink, using glue and dowels made by his own hands.  The only metal on it is in the hinges and handles.  Not a single nail to be found.  There are 105 pieces of wood in it, and it took about three months of labor to build it.

Kevin has always admired it, and his mom has told him for years that it would one day be his.  Today was the day.  His mom gave it to him for Christmas, and he hauled it home proudly tonight. 

Christmas Celebration #1

That is Kevin's son Jonathan in the back.  In front of him, left to right, is his sister's girls Emily and Elizabeth, then his brother's daughter Courtney, then my Brett.  Next row forward is my Monica and Natalie, then his sister's son Steven.  Lying in the floor is his brother's son Caleb.  They're all growing up so fast!

Saturday, after I got off work, we headed to Carthage.  We basically hung out, napped, and relaxed all afternoon/evening.  This morning, we I went Shopping with Kevin's mom, to help her choose things for everybody.  She bought me a new set of pots and pans while we were out!  I needed them so badly.

Kevin got an electric shaver (he's never had one, but wanted to try it, since he can't wear a beard at this job) and a "dry sink" that he knew would one day be his, but didn't think it would be this soon.  More on this when I have him tell me the story again.

Brett got a second controller and a memory card for his game cube, Natalie got 2 playstation games and a poster, and Monica got a karaoke machine.  We were going to get it for her, but Linda wanted to.  They are all happy with their loot.

 

Presents from customers

My job is still intact while other labs are folding daily.  One main reason is the customer service and support offered.  I am a customer service rep, and we go above and beyond any other business I've EVER dealt with.  We bend rules to the point of breaking if it helps a customer.  We made a mistake?  We'll fix it and redo the order immediately.  You made a mistake?  I understand the time crunch you're under...we'll redo the order immediately.  That sort of thing.

At Christmas, many of our bigger customers send gifts to their particular CSR.  Last year, I got a card and a small box of candy.  I was fairly new then, and hadn't built up a huge base of customers who specifically wanted to deal with ME.  Things they are a changin'.  I have several customers, some quite large, who have found how easy I am to deal with, and how willing to please I am.

I watched a few other reps getting some gifts this week, and had a childish little twinge deep down.  Jealousy is so unattractive.  Then, yesterday, a customer called my boss just to tell her what a great job I do and how *I* am the reason they love the lab.  Merry Christmas to me!  Today, a customer sent in a box filled with small tins of butter cookies...one for each rep at the lab.  Things were looking up.

I went outside to take my morning break, and when I came back there was a large UPS box at my desk.  "Oh great!" I thought, "another remake to write up."  Boy was I wrong!  Inside this large box was a styrofoam cooler.  Inside the cooler was another box with "Heavenly Cheescake" imprinted on it.  Yup, you guessed it, and it was HUGE.  I great big turtle cheescake.  Kevin's guessing it was 4-5 lbs!  I was going to share with my coworkers and bring the rest home, but they all insisted that I bring the whole thing home, so guess what I just had a piece of?  It is delightful.

This afternoon, another big customer (one of my favorites, who I plan to visit on the way to my aunts in February.  They are in TX,) called to ask for my home address.  I joked it off, then told them I was just doing my job, until she finally said "Shut up and give me your address, ok?"  Who knows what's coming now, but it's so good to know that some of those folks out there realize how much I do for them.  Happy Holiday's to me!

Dear Santa

I have been very good this year....wait, scratch that.  I have been more good than bad this year.  I've worked hard and it's been a real hard year in a lot of ways.  Too much death and sadness in the beginning, too many long hours toward the end.  Sure, there was a lot of great stuff, too.  I'm smart enough to realize that.

For Christmas this year, I'd like to have a laptop computer, a small economy car for the commute, and all my bills paid for the month, with some left over.  I'd like to buy my kids some great gifts, and go all-out for Kevin's gift.  I'd like to buy presents for every friend and every family member, every teacher and boss, every neighbor and aquantance.

Yes, Santa, I realize I can't have those things.  I am content with my life.  My family is happy and healthy.  I get to see relatives and share good meals for the holidays.  I have a good job and know a lot of great people.  I have a warm home and a safe vehicle.  I have a husband who works hard to provide for us, and does more than his share around the house quite often.

Thank you, Santa, you did good!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas, readers!

Money vs. Happiness

So, I bet I could guess most folks' gut answer to this question, but give it some pondering (unless you're rich, then forget it.)

Is there a price for your happiness?  I mean, would you rather have a job that makes you happy, or one that offers a hubba-hubba salary?  Sure, the gut says "Happy is better than rich" and to an extent, that is very true, but take it to the limit.  If you love your job, more than any job ever, and make $25,000...life is good.  But what if someone offered you a job for $75,000 that isn't quite as good?

I got a phone call tonight from someone pondering that question.  She had a high $$ job.  Made money hand-over-fist.  Rolling in it, buying new cars and getting her nails done.  The stress almost killed her.  She took a job making much less, but being treated like a queen.  She loves it, but she needs more cash.  Does she go back?  That's the question she's facing now.  She could go back to the big bucks pretty easily, but the stress would return and the hours would suck.

Is money worth it?  My gut says "happiness is more important."  Kevin has left great jobs for more money and found it to be a disaster.  Still, I can't help but wonder...

This is NOT about me or my job.  I just wonder.  I mean, I may get a salary offer at some point (it's unavoidable at my job) and I hear it will be a sweet offer.  I need to prepare myself for that day.

My mother makes me sick!

We went to mom's today.  She made potato soup...my favorite!  Not only that, but she and the girls were making holiday cookies and cranberry bread.  I ate until I was uncomfortable, then I ate a bit more.  I was very ill. 

I napped a bit while watching football, then felt a bit better, so I had another cookie.  Thanks to her culinary skills, I'm barely going to be able to eat my Pringles while watching the Survivor finale tonight! 

Man, that woman can COOK!  I have to quit making a pig out of myself every time we go out there.  I am going to need to widen the doorways around here if this keeps up.

Olive Garden, the mall, and Ray

Date night!  What a night.  I got my "sick check" yesterday at work.  My employer pays out any remaining sick time (we get 40 hours per year) in December each year.  Perfect attendance gets you another prize...a gift certificate to the Country Club Plaza...but I had too many funerals this year for that.

My sick check wasn't huge (17.8 hours) but it was enough to send me out on a date with my husband.  Throw in a wonderful mother who keeps my girls on most Saturday nights nowadays, and the night was set.  We never go out.  I mean, we see a movie a year, if we're lucky.  Eating out is just too expensive, unless it's McDonald's after a long day.

We went to Olive Garden at 2 this afternoon, and the line was horrible.  The bar was empty, though, so we decided to have a beer while we waited.  The bartender had the best service (and the best personality, for that matter) we'd ever experienced, so we decided to just eat at the bar!  Wow, what wonderful food.  We've always loved their food, but boy...they were *on* today.

After that, we had some time to kill, so we went to the mall.  ROFL...the mall on a Saturday afternoon during the holiday season...and we both hate crowds!  We laughed so hard at people...people walk like they drive.  Someone needs to tell them that they are NOT the only people there.  There ARE others around them.  It is NOT acceptable to stop suddenly and start a conversation in the middle of a busy walkway.  Buttheads....all of them. 

We got out of there and headed to the theater across the road (across the road took about 10 minutes!) and found a parking space that was relatively in the same zip code.  Then we bought tickets to see "Ray" on mom's recommendation.  Good call, Mom!  What an awesome movie.  Not since Titanic has a movie that long held me.  I cried a lot, too.  I wish Kevin wouldn't keep checking to see if I'm crying.  We've been together more than 10 years....of COURSE you know I'm crying.

Now we're home, and I feel like all of this overtime might be worth it.  We spent a stupid amount of money for a meal and a movie (could have cooked and rented for less than $10) but it was more than that.  We had a truely relaxed and wonderful time.  Life is good.

Coming to you live from the safety of my bubble

I live in a bubble.  In my bubble, bad things don't happen to good people.  There is no war here, and close family members don't die, unless it's of old age.  My bubble is big enough for my family, but some members don't choose to stay inside.  It's too confining, I suppose, but I don't mind.

I think it might have begun with my small-town upbringing.  Although we were behind the times in that tiny little community, we also knew all of our neighbors and could ride our bike 2 miles to town with no fears of anything bad happening.  It just didn't happen there.  There were also my parents.  How many people can say their parents are still happily married at my age?  No divorce, no abuse, no hatred lived there.  Mom cooked hot meals, dad worked hard, and we had everything we needed.  That was the beginning of my bubble.

Now my bubble has two purposes.  It is a protection for my psyche.  My feelings are hurt so easily, and my heart aches for every sad story I hear.  I cry at Hallmark commercials, for heavens sake!  If I stay in the bubble, I don't have to acknowledge the sad things going on in the world.  Strike up a conversation about the war and I'll think a good thought for our boys, then comment on the weather.  It's nice in the bubble.

Am I avoiding reality?  Maybe, but I don't think so.  I just view these things from the bubble, which casts a nice warm glow to what I see.  Don't worry.  If you get too overwhelmed by the world around you, I will let you in my bubble.  Just please, don't do ANYTHING to pop it.  Promise?

That is the way, that is the ONLY way, I am able to raise kids in this crazy world today.

Memories, book 1

This is one of my favorite memories from the summer.  I went to mom's to get her and Blue, then we headed to my friend Kim's house for a ride.  It was kinda wild, since Blue was only happy leading, Kim had to ride sitting behind Monica (in case she got into trouble) and Natalie had to ride Brat (a young horse, wearing a fly hood due to getting a hay seed in his eye) and be led by Kim (still behind Monica) because Brat is so young...just to be safe.  Surprisingly, it went very well, and this pic shows our formation.

On a lighter note

Well, after that last post, I should really back off the negativity.  NOT, absolutely NOT because someone may not like what I write, but because my days are greatly guided by my mindset.  If I'm negative, my day sucks.  If I'm positive, I can survive the holiday craziness that is my job.

My husband is the bomb.  I know I sound like a broke record, but this time of year really sucks at my job.  Don't get me wrong, I like having the OT to pay those holiday bills, but I miss my family and my life (I worked 63.75 hours last week.)  Each night, I drive home wondering what we'll fix for dinner (he always helps, if he doesn't do it all himself) and wondering how much homework I'll....errrr...the kids will have.

Tonight, Kevin ordered Pyramid Pizza and brought home some beer for his tired wife.  It was so nice to relax and not sweat it.  We ate pizza, then the girl's fun began.  I brought home a huge box and several large pieces of cardboard from work.  The kids (Brett helped the girls when needed) built many things from this great treasure.  The last I saw was a "tunnel" which leads between the chair and couch into the living room.

My kids are smart and creative and so thankful for something as simple as a cardboard box.  They don't beg for things at the grocery store, don't ask for high-dollar gifts, and thank us for pizza as if it were large sums of cash.  Life here is good.  2 more weeks, and work life will be good again, too.

What more could I ask for? (rhetorical, ok?)

Grow up, or go away

Sometimes I want to scream.  Here is a letter to a person who will never read it.  It's rude and crude and if that's not enough to stop you from reading, carry on at your own risk.

Dear Whiney Britches,

You are an adult.  You don't act like it, and it only benifits you when you want to drink legally at a bar, but you are an adult by all counts.  You fail to realize it because you mooch of your mom and your boyfriend, alternately, depending upon who you aren't "so pissed" at.  You have no life skills, and are nothing but a waste of oxygen that the rest of us (productive members of society) could use.

Don't offer to take on a task, just so that you can prove your importance.  You wanted to do this.  You thought it would be fun.  Guess what?  You got questioned a little bit...live with it.  Maybe you didn't do things exactly right.  Take this time to think about it and make an improvement.  Dipshit.

You have no sense of humor, or you would have recognized my attempt to light-heartedly discuss this, without point-blank telling you that you are a screw up.  Don't worry, I won't make this mistake again in the future.  From now on, I'll be sure to approach you with "Hey stupid, you muffed it again!"

Pouting all day made YOU look like a jerk.  Nobody took a single moment from their day to think "wow, she's upset, I wonder who the bad bad person is that hurt her feelings?"  Nope, everyone just noticed that you were making an ass out of yourself.  You did, at LEAST, succeed in that small task.

Tomorrow, I will go on about my day, not giving you a second thought.  I suggest you get over it, too.  If you don't, I am more likely than you'll EVER know, to get your butt out of my work life.  It wouldn't be tough, with your track record.  Consider yourself warned!

At tale of three kitties

Kevin and I hate cats.  We have both always hated cats.  I like big slobbery dogs.  Cats are aloof and don't need you.  They have to shit in the house, and I have to clean it up, but if I want to pet them, they aren't in the mood.  I hate cats.

We have 3 cats.  See, it wasn't planned.  We tried to instill in our children how evil cats are.  "They're useless and stupid" we said.  There was hope for the oldest 2, but Natalie wouldn't buy it.  She loves all animals.  Cows, pigs, horses, dogs, cats, goats...you name it.  Some friends of ours dropper-fed 4 kittens when their mother was hit by a car, and they wanted rid of all but one.  Daddy, the softy, caved.

We got three kittens, even though I was relatively sure they would grow into cats.  I was right.  They are litter-mates, but totally different in every way.  Brett's cat is the male (we found out at the first vet appointment).  His name is Sasquatch, since he was the biggest and hairiest.  He is cool because he has turned into a dog.  He'll play fetch with the cat toys, chase cards (Brett found this out when he was pitching cards out of bordom one night.)  He'll "sit pretty" and beg for a treat.

Monica's cat, Fudge, is the lovey one.  She'll curl up with you and purr so loud it rattles the windows.  She is Kevin's little buddy, and it's hard to get her out of our room once she's in.  She's playful and sweet and quite the little lady.

Then there's Snowbell.  She's an idiot.  I think the probable inbreeding (common in country cats) hit her most of all.  She walks into walls, get's tangled in WalMart bags, and once practically hung herself in a hammock (please don't ask why there was a hammock hanging in our basement...we're country folks stuck in town.)  She doesn't understand her name, "kitty kitty" or "come here stupid".  She really is a useless creature, but Natalie loves her more than the other kids could ever love their cat.

Natalie asked Kevin today, "Dad, do you have a nickname for my cat?"  Kevin looked puzzled and asked, "Why?"  "Well," says she, "You call Fudge, Fudgecicle, youcall Sasquatch, Sasquatcher (which he doesn't, that I know of??), so do you have a nickname for my cat?"  Her eyes were watching him so innocently.  He looked lovingly at her and said, "well, sometimes I call her 'Stupid'." 

That got they eye-roll and the drawn out "Daaaaaaaaad!" He said, "yeah, sometimes it's 'Retard'!"  She said "hey, that's mean!" and laughed as she walked away.  I'm glad our kids have a good sense of humor. 

It really is a useless cat, though.

My Grandma

An online friend's grandma died recently.  Mine died nearly a year ago, and my Grandpa died in 1987, but the tribute I read today made me think about my "Grandma and Grandpa Allen".

Grandma and Grandpa took my brother Jim and I on vacation with them a lot.  I can remember going to Colorado once, and we went to the family reunions annually in North Missouri, and I'm sure there were others, but mostly, we went to Branson.  They had a place there after a while, and before that we camped.

Grandma and Grandpa were pretty old, but they would patiently walk along with us at Silver Dollar City, letting us ride our favorite rides again and again.  They'd buy a different homemade candy of Jim's choice every time, I always chose saltwater taffy.  We were usually allowed to take a friend with us.  The visiting friend changed each summer, but the experience was consistant.  Pure Bliss.

We played cards and dominoes and Uno.  They were so forgiving when we'd make mistakes.  We were often allowed to pick up a card and replace it with another.  I don't remember them raising their voices at us...ever. 

Grandma was a cake decorating genius.  Many local weddings had one of her creations as a centerpiece.  She would spend hours forming icing roses to keep in the freezer.  She always made a couple of cakes for my brother and I to decorate.  Looking back, the clean-up must have been a nightmare.  She didn't seem to mind.

Grandpa made canned biscuits almost every morning for breakfast.  Sometimes in the oven, sometimes in a toaster oven.  He tinkered with lawn mowers, radios, cbs and such that they bought at some auction.  If it wasn't an easy fix, my brother took over.  I don't remember Jim ever fixing one, but he had so much fun trying.

Grandma sold Avon.  I was allowed to play with her samples and get all prettied up and smelling nice.  I used to love to stamp her books for her while she watched her "stories".  Soap operas were a part of every weekday for her, and they bored me, so I would stamp the back of each Avon catalog with her name/address/phone number.  It was fun to me, and I thought I was such a big help.

Grandpa use to sing the first line to dirty limmericks.  The first line is never dirty, and he never got any farther than that.  Grandma would use her best scolding voice to say "Everett!" and he'd stop, pause, then look at us with an ornery grin.  He had no intention of finishing them, and they both knew it, but we didn't.

They would let us have grape or orange soda with breakfast.  It's almost like juice, right?  We'd swim in the creek and collect interesting rocks.  We always had a rock collection each summer, and started over each summer.  Who knows where they went.  It was fun to collect them, but seemed unimportant to keep track of them.

Grandpa died a cruel slow death.  Cancer is an evil force.  I will never forgive it for what it did to him.

Grandma died early this year.  In her later years, she would get on my nerves.  If she smelled the smoke on my clothes, she'd lecture me about smoking.  Sometimes I was told I was "gaining weight"  (no grandma, you think?) and sometimes she made some pretty mean comments.  I would get frustrated and avoid going to see her.  I hate that.

I'm sorry Grandma.  I know what you did for me for years and years, and wish I'd given you those last few years to be as contrary as you wanted.  You earned it.  Also, I believe you didn't mean it, deep down.  I know you loved me.  You proved it for years.  I hope I am half the grandma you were, someday.

I hope there is fishing in heaven.

Kids, Cops, and Krab salad

Well, as of this afternoon, I can honestly say that I have only 2 more Saturdays to work!  Other than business trips, of course, but there should only be 2 or 3 of those next year.  Kevin had to work a few hours, so when I got off work, I picked up the girls (thanks Mom!) and came home to nap.  Frankly, I didn't want to fall asleep at 7!

Now we'll have a typical Fierro Saturday night.  COPS is a must.  I like watching white trash drunks make fools out of themselves!  I also go nuts on junk food on Saturday.  Today it's Tostitos and white queso dip.  I also grabbed some Ritz crackers and Krab salad.  No, I didn't spell it wrong.  It's cheap and it's fake...like many of the people I work with! I'm hick enough to have never had the real thing, though, and I think it's lovely.

My kids are being more civilized today.  There were a few minor altercations, but the mere mention of no TV straightened things right up.  They had Lunchables (gross, but they love them), I had a frozen Mexican dinner, and Kevin had taquitos.  Ahhh, frozen WalMart fare.  We are living like kings, I tell you....KINGS!

I'll watch COPS, eat too much, and sleep about 10 hours tonight.  I'm a happy chick. 

Tired of threatening

Sheesh.  It's tough being a parent, but today it sucks.  My kids are out of control, and it's our fault.  I leave home at 4:20am and get home around 6pm.  It's only temporary, since our busy season ends on Christmas Eve, but right now, it's killing me.

Kevin plays mom AND dad every morning, getting the kids ready and off to before-school care.  Then, after work he picks them up, goes through backpacks, gets homework started, and cooks dinner.  After I get home, there is one hour before it's time to start showers for the girls.  We aren't here enough to "parent".  Knowing that this will end 12-25 doesn't help my frazzled nerves, or Kevin's.

Today was the last straw.  Brett didn't do his chores, because he "couldn't find the vaccuum."  It was in the living room, behind where he was sitting.  Monica didn't tell us about, or do, a book report, then lied to her teacher about it.  Oh, and her coat is at school again...for the weekend this time.  Natalie has a habit of taking FOREVER to leave when Kevin picks her up at after-school care.  "I want to draw one more thing" "I took my shoes off, I can't find them" "wait, I didn't tell Ms. Suzanna goodbye".  After a 10 hour day, he isn't to skippy on waiting.

He was to freaked out to actually dole out punishment.  Sometimes you know you'll go to far if you deal with something, so you wait to calm down.  I talked him off the ledge on the way home and told him to let it go.  I'd be home in 15 minutes, and I'd be the *heavy* this time.  He's always the bad guy.

As soon as I got home, I tore into them for all the crap they've been pulling for weeks now.  I yelled too loud, told them I had no interest in hearing their side (I am big on letting them tell me their side of things), and then I gave them their punishment.  No TV, video games, computer, or radios tonight.  No electronics.  Read, play a game, or sit quietly, I don't care. 

This doesn't sound like a horrid punishment, even to me, but you should have seen them.  Holy crap!  I could've beat them with a big club and gotten less of a reaction.  Monica crawled in bed, covered her head and cried.  Natalie sat on the landing halfway up the stairs and cried.  Brett just sulked off to his room (oh yeah, this ain't HIS first rodeo).

The biggest part of me (my ass?  no wait, that's not where I was going with this) knows that they needed a wake-up call, and that they've been getting away with pushing us for too long.  A small (the mommy) part of me, however, wants to say "ok, you're being good now, you can watch TV."  I won't.  I'm stronger than that, but I am such a soft touch sometimes.  I expect them to go to bed out of boredom early tonight.  Maybe tomorrow will be better.  Maybe not.  I could always remove some electronics and sell their computer.  I don't think that will be necessary, though.

Deep down, they're good kids.  Better than most.  The problem is us.  We haven't been taking the time to "parent" them.  We've been those taller people who bring home money and yawn a lot.  3 more weeks.  Give me strength, Lord.  3 more weeks.

Survivor, Pringles, and Beer

I love Thursday nights.  It's my favorite of all weeknights!  Especially during the Survivor season.  Yeah, it's a sick addiction, but I'm hooked.  I've watched every season, and got more involved each time (the first one, we only watched about half the episodes.)

Every Thursday, I stop and buy beer and Pringles and get home to make sure the family stuff is over by 7.  It's such ritual, my friends know not to call me between 7 and 8 on Thursday!  Sad, I know.  I'm the same way with Big Brother.

I make such a production about deciding which flavor of Pringles to buy.  Tonight, it's Pizzalicious.  Last week it was Cheezums.  Always Michelob Ultra.  Always Survivor.  Always jumping up during commercials to check on whichever girls is (supposed to be) showering, or check a journal or message board, or run to the bathroom.  Then HAVE to be back before the commercials end.  Yeah, as I said, it's sad.

I don't know why I like these shows.  My favorite thing is watching these people back-stab and struggle for top-of-the-heap.  Screaming bitch-fights, crying, faking a loved ones death...all to win a game and get your 15 minutes of fame.  Only one is going to win, and the others look like fools.  Famous fools, but fools nonetheless.  Would I turn from everything I believe in, abandon my morals, and shame my family if I was on that show?  I like to think not, but money hunger can make you do strange things.  Plus, Surivor has a fantasy league.  See?  Something I can do online!

Statement day and homework

It's the first of the  month.  That means it's "statement day".  It is one of my duties at work to run the monthly statements, and oversee the process of getting them mailed by day's end.  We mail about 2200 statements.  It stinks, let me tell ya.  It's not hard, but so time consuming, and now I'm a full day and a half behind on my daily work.  12 hours a day isn't enough right now.

Then I got home and Natalie had homework.  Now, don't get me wrong, I think homework is a good thing.  The problem is, I do more homework than they do.  I love my kids and spend time with them, but school's now send home assignments that encourage working together.  "Ask a parent to help you________."  "Explain to a parent _______, ask them if they have any examples."  Cut pictures from a magazine of _______ and glue them on the _______." (we don't take magazines, it's half an hour until bedtime and it's due tomorrow.)

I graduated in 1987.  I shouldn't have to do first grade homework anymore...or third grade homework...or 10th grade homework.  Mother-of-the-year I ain't.