I'm OK

I get sick of choosing "chillin'" as a mood, but it is the closest I can find to "content".

Work was OK today.  Just normal stuff.  I got a lot done, left very little for others, since I'm gone on Monday (flying home) and they have little reason to gripe about extra work load.  They shouldn't gripe anyway...heck, I cover for them when they're gone, so heck with it.  I'm OK.

I haven't ridden Buddy in over two months, yet I'm sad he's gone.  He wasn't the right horse for my situation.  Nobody could ride him but me, and I couldn't ride him.  He had turned into a hay-burning accessory.  Not good.  I'll have a horse.  I'll have a horse that anyone can ride and that I have time to ride regularly.  He's friendly and fun and energetic, but he's a waste if nobody rides.  I'm OK.

Tomorrow morning, I'll head to the lab.  I have to get my business cards and stuff packed into my bag (I won't check, I'll carry on...I won't risk losing luggage) and then I have some work to do.  I'm meeting a customer there at 11:30 to show him around the lab.  That'll burn about 45 minutes.  At 12:30, Michelle and I will head to the airport for a 2:15 flight.  Plenty of time, since we're not checking luggage.  I gotta get some matches...no lighters on flights now.  I can get matches...I'm OK.

We have a layover that's a bit over an hour in Charlotte, NC.  I can deal with that.  It's another airport to experience.  I like airports.  Call me a freak, but I am a people watcher.  It'll be fun.  Maybe I'll grab a beer or something.  My kids all want a "Sky Mall" from the plane, and I'll collect peanuts or pretzels, or whatever for them.  They like it when I come home with goodies.  I'm OK.

I will kiss my husband and kids in the morning, see Mom and Dad briefly, go to work, see a customer, fly to SC, see the ocean for the first time, post a journal entry from the hotel, and fall asleep in a strange place, all in the matter of 12 hours.  I'm OK.

I love my life.  I love my job.  I love travelling to places I wouldn't otherwise see.  I love having a husband that picks up the slack when I'm gone.  I love coming home to my own bed after a trip.  I have more than many rich folks could ever hope for.  Envy *THIS*, rich folks!  I'm happy...can you say that?  I'm OK.

A better day

OK, sorry 'bout yesterday's depressing post.  Let me counter my gripes from yesterday:

"My horse is gone"  yes, he is.  I haven't ridden in more then 2 months, and don't have time between work, kids, dinner, and life.  I love that little guy, but there is a better horse out there, maybe not born yet, who will be perfect for me when my youngest heads off to college.

"The kids are fighting bed time"  Yeah, they usually do.  They are kids.  Fortunately, they are better than most.  If they get rowdy, I call them on it, and they quit promptly.  I have good kids, and I need to be thankful for it.

"Mom has no internet" She does, now.  It's all fixed.

"My bathroom lacks floor covering"  You know what?  The floor is down, the toilet and shower are working.  I can deal without linoleum for a while.  I'm not proud, dangit!

"My dog is a liar"  Yeah, he's still lying.  If he walks with Kevin at 5:15, he's still telling me that he hasn't been out at ALL at 5:30, when I get up.  Lying dog.

"Gas is too high"  I'm standing by this one, but...a BIG 'but', we're making it.  Although I still consider our family "poor", since we live check-to-check, we are also "rich", since we have dinner each night, a roof over our heads, and can afford to put gas in our cars.  God has blessed us, indeed.

"We're almost out of dog food"  I bought some tonight.  We weren't completely out, but it ticks me off to call home and say "do we need anything else?" and be told "no" by the boy, only to come home and find out there's very little dog food.  Poor kid can't catch a break, since I was grumpy last night. Sorry, Brett.

Now, tonight is better.  All of life's woes aren't gone, but we have dog food, we have a cheaper car to drive for a while, Dad is happy about the horse being gone (less hay to feed this winter, and I'm happy when daddy's happy), Mom's internet is back and the kids will be asleep soon.  That's how much difference a day makes.  I'll be fine.

In 48 hours, I'll be landing in Myrtle Beach, SC.  I've never seen that end of the country, and I'm stoked about it.  I'll take pics, buy cheap souveniers for my family, and post an amazing journal entry or two.

Life's not bad, life is good.  Mood swings come with the territory, when  you're a female.  Sorry, Kevin.

blah blah blah

My horse is gone (probably won't have another until the kids are grown).  The kids are fighting bed time (that makes for a rough morning tomorrow).  Mom has no internet (two days, now).  My bathroom lacks floor covering (the leak is fixed, but no linoleum).  My dog is a liar (yes, Hawkeye, you took a walk tonight.  No, it was only 1/2 hour ago...)  Gas is too high (I gotta get an economy car).  We're almost out of dog food (I was just at WalMart).

***Sigh***

Stuff

I chose "anxious" as my mood, although "depressed" would be a better description.  I feel like I've been socked in the gut tonight.  I go on with life, trying to be upbeat and carry on, but the facts are the facts.

People died in hurricanes.  People are displaced due to hurricanes.  People need medication, hot meals, and fresh water.  I have all those.  I can't wrap my head around it, but I'm trying.  Then, today, another blow.

A VERY good customer and VERY sweet lady, one of my favorites, had a tragedy.  They live in Colorado and have two studios.  They are patient and kind, soft-spoken and loving.  They found their 12-year-old son in his treehouse the other night.  He had (probably) hung himself.  TWELVE. FRIGGIN'.YEARS.OLD.  12.  A little boy, really.  Just a little boy of 12.  Why? 

I have no words.  What do I say to this super lady.  "Oh, sorry your son killed himself."?  I think not.  Suicide is the most selfish, ugly thing a depressed person can do to his/her family.  If you life is that bad, do you wish that on your family members?  I have always been angry at anyone who commits suicide, but 12?  Holy Shit.  Misery has a new level.

God Bless you and your family, Mary.  God grant you peace and understanding.  My prayers and thoughts are with you tonight, and for many nights to come.  There will be no understanding for you for many years, so I won't blow smoke.  Just know that you have support.

Damn.

More pics, the hard way

I finally loaded pics the long way, dangit.  Anyway, we had a good Sunday, and Kevin's mom and sister left noonish.  We got the yard done and fell into bed, exhausted.  Today was a day...let's leave it at that.  4 more days of work before I go to South Carolina.  I can handle 4 days, right?  yeah, I can.

Damn Chiefs are losing.  My heart can't take this crap.  Stop with the penalties, already!  Sheesh!

More weekend pics

I'm frustrated that the Chiefs are losing to Denver.  I'm frustrated that I need a/c during the day and am cold at night.  Most of all, I'm frustrated that YGP won't work right now.  DAMN!

A good day

We had a good day.  I didn't have to work, and Brett had to be up early for Saturday school (don't skip school, kids) so I took full advantage.  As soon as he showered and ate breakfast, we headed out to take pictures.  I don't have enough pics of Brett, and I want to practice for senior pics.  I think I did OK, for a first time shot.

Kevin's mom came up for the weekend, with his sister Susan and her son Steven.  The kids played SO hard.  We had a good time.  We BBQ'd pork chops, watched some TV and visited.  I miss Susan.  We used to talk on the phone all the time.  I miss Linda.  We talked a lot when she was here this summer.

Tomorrow, I plan to take many more pictures of everyone.  Don't say you weren't warned.