Bummer. What a bummer.

Well, on February 18, it will be one year since Kevin's brother Steve Fierro, was killed fighting a fire.  It was a horrid day, like none I can remember.  Emotions are riding the line already, with the date quickly approaching.  Then tonight, we had something happen.

The girls like to play waitress.  They get a pad and paper, wear a visor, and ask what we'd like.  Sometimes they bring us a drink or a cookie, and we tip them a quarter or something.  It's a fun game.  Tonight, Natalie went into my closet and shut the door.  Her plan was to write some notes on her note pad.

In this closet is a box of memories of Steve.  Newspaper stories of his death, pictures, his fireman's helmet, etc.  When Monica opened the door to ask her a question, Natalie was in the floor, looking through the box, crying.  Oh. Dear. God.

I asked Kevin if he wanted to take this one.  He did.  He went in, sat in the floor of the closet with her, and cried with her.  They talked about uncle Steve.  Talked about how he was a christian man who is now in heaven.  Talked about how many souls he saved while on earth, talked about how many lives he saved while on earth.  He was a firefighter for 2 towns, drove an ambulance for a hospital in one town, and METS in another.  He worked wrecks, medical calls, fights, and all sorts of other mishaps.  He was very good at what he did. 

Oh. Dear. God.  How hard this is right now.  How much crying is it going to take?  Sometimes we can talk about Steve, laughing and telling crazy tales of his adventures fighting forest fires in California, Colorado, Florida, and many other states.  Other times, his name is spoken and we break down.  How much time is enough time?  I think we'll be crying about Steve for many years to come.  I think that's ok.  I *KNOW* that's ok. 

Why can't I explain it to the kids better?

The Saturday Six

1. Who is the first celebrity you recall having a crush on? I think it was probably Tom Cruise, but I was always infatuated with anyone in the spotlight.  When I was 10 or so, I wanted the guys on stage at the Branson music shows to notice me!
 
2. What was your favorite amusement park ride when you were young?  The Scream Roller at Worlds of Fun.  Compared to the rides that are there now, it'd be boring, but back then it was WILD!
 
3. If you could change your name (first or middle but the name you go by), would you, and if so, what would you change it to? Nah.  I used to think so, but I'm happy with my name.  I am who I am.
 
4. Go to http://kabalarians.com/ and take the "First Name Analysis" test.  Do you agree with what the site comes up with? Heck no!  The whole thing was way off, but this part says it all 

"As Rachel you are rather serious-minded, responsible, and stable. You have the gift of tact and diplomacy"
 
5. Other than Johnny Carson, which former talk show host's tape archives would you most like to visit, and why? I can't think of any, other than Johnny.  There are good ones out there, but nobody can compare to his wit and style.

6. READER'S CHOICE QUESTION #44  from Jessie:   If you were in good health, would you donate a kidney to a friend who's dying regardless of what your family's opinion are and if yes or no, why or why not? Yeah, possibly.  I guess if my family was dead-set against it, I might not, but it'd be hard to see a friend suffering and not do everything in my power to make it better.

 

The little snowman

We went to mom and dad's today, as we always do on Saturday.  Bought some feed for the Brat, and some wormer, too.  I groomed him a bit, got the tangles out of his mane (they'll be back by morning) and we wormed him.  He's settling down real well.  Blue got some lovin', too.

The snow we got last night didn't amount to much.  The kids made an attempt at sledding down a hill in the pasture.  There was as much grass as snow, but it didn't stop them.  Monica decided to build a snowman.  Yeah, a snowman.  An adult mind thinks, "there isn't enough snow to even attempt a snowman!"  A child's mind thinks, "Wow!  Snow!"

When the snowman was done, it was a snowwoman.  By the time I went outside to look, it was a snowman.  Dad told her that it had an ugly nose, so she decided it must be a boy!  LOL

That's her stocking cap on his head.  Kids don't feel the cold (notice her red cheeks!)  He has horse treats for eyes, and shop rags for a scarf (Grandma said that her scarves are for people, not snowmen...Monica improvised.)  His nose is a half of a carrot, and his mouth is orange string.  Yeah, he's a small little guy, but look how happy she is with her accomplishment!

Owning a horse

I'm scared.  I want a horse, and now I have a horse.  Yeah, it's great.  He's a registerd Arabian, and he's great.  Here's the rub:  He's an expense.  My dad loves me very much, and he loves my kids.  If they asked to keep an elephant there, he'd reluctantly build a higher fence, and tell them to bring the elephant over, to see how it works out.

I now own a horse.  Mom and Dad are boarding him with Mom's horse, Blue.  If something happens or needs to be done, they'll see to it that things are taken care of.  A horse means buying feed, buying wormer, paying for vet visits, putting up hay in the heat of July, mending fence, healing cuts, and avoiding illness. 

A horse also means fun rides, grooming time, the "look" you get when you feed him, and the soft nose against your hand.  Am I blessed? Absolutely. Am I scared?  Oh yeah.  But I'm prepared to do what it takes to keep the monetary burnden off my parents and be realistic about how much we *need* this horse. 

No other parents I know would take this on.  Here's to my Mom and Dad.  The greatest when I was growing up, and more so today.  Here's to the folks who do the real work, while the grandkids swoop in on Saturday and claim to "care for" the horse.  Here's to the man who maintains the tractor to pull the bailer that bales the hay that feeds my horse.  (sound like the house that Jack built?)

I love you, Mom and Dad!  You let me realize my dreams as a girl, and now you're helping me let my girls realize one of their dreams!  I owe you....BIG!

Weekend assignment

Weekend Assignment #45: Karaoke Time

Limber up your windpipes, boys and girls, because this week's Weekend Assignment is getting musical:

Weekend Assignment #45: It's karaoke time. Pick a song to sing and explain why you chose it. Note that not everyone sings the song you expect them to sing: I remember being at a karaoke bar one time and watching a six-foot bald guy with a gravelly voice and a tattoo on his neck sing Olivia Newton John's "Have You Never Been Mellow?" And it was brilliant. So by all means, reach for the stars here. This isn't American Idol.

I would sing something by Trace Adkins.  He's my favorite, and with my smoker's limited range, he has several that I can actually do.  There are so many good ones, it's hard to choose, but probably "Don't Lie".  Good stuff.  I can't sing most women's songs, and usually don't care much for them (although "Redneck Woman"....never mind)

Extra Credit: Recall the worst karaoke performance you ever heard (or, if you're brave, ever performed). You can change the names to protect the guilty if you like.

I've heard some HORRIBLE karaoke!  I'd say it hurts most anytime someone butchers a favorite.  Don't mess with the classics, folks, unless you can sing DANG good.

A better day.

We are getting ready to work with another third-party software company (geez, how many do we need to support?) and this always means testing.  Traditionally, customer service reps such as myself are responsible for the testing.  This time is no exception.

It's a pain to submit a bunch of orders when there are other things to do, but you are allowed to keep the prints, if you use your own images.  I didn't know we were starting today, so I had to work with images I already have at work.  I don't really need any more prints of those, but it works.  The only new ones I had were the ones that I took Sunday of Blue and Brat.  Unfortunately, I am *in* a lot of those pictures, looking like hell.  No contacts, no makeup, stocking cap, gloves, coat, fat-ass, etc.  Anyway, I ordered some.  I hope some of them turn out.  Oh, yeah, there were also some real cool pics of bright-red, evening-sky clouds before a storm.  I think those will look cool on our new metallic paper!

We also had to test the retouching section of the software.  In one of the orders, I had a picture including Brat, and the retouch instruction that I included said, "clean up the little dirty white horse."  Another said, "remove my hand and the lead rope."  We'll see how they interpret my nonsense.

We ordered pizza for dinner.  Yeah, the diet went down the drain around 2 weeks ago.  So be it.  I'm happy fat, right?  Anyway, we ordered Pyramid Pizza and had quite the feast.  I am TOO fond of pizza, that's for sure.  Wow, was it good.  Too much money spent, but dammit, it left me feeling so satisfied! :)

OK, enough rambling.  Life is good, I am more than *just* Rachel, and I had pizza for dinner.  Smurferrific!  (where the heck did *that* word come from?  I'm losing it, I swear!)

Is my ego too big?

I have a chip on my shoulder tonight.  I thought I would be over it by the time I got home, but I'm not.  My family is famous for holding grudges.  I'm trying to fight it, but each time it comes to mind again, I'm seething all over again.

We have this big customer at work.  B.I.G.  He isn't my customer, but I have spoken to him a few times, and his staff a LOT of times.  He is world famous in the industry, and spends a lot of time on lecture tours.  He's in high demand because he's good at what he does.  He really *is* good.  Honest.  Like I said, I don't talk to him often, but when I do, I take very good care of him, just like I do all of our customers.

He was teaching a class at the lab today.  I stayed after to help out with dinner, and to "make nice" with customers.  I like this gig.  It doesn't happen often, and when it does, it's interesting to put a face with the voices that we so often talk to.  I made my rounds for about an hour and a half.  Had a blast.  Cool folks, all of them.  I helped one customer find a computer that had internet access to book a room (since he didn't plan ahead) and everyone LOVED ME!  OK, they at least liked me a lot.

This speaker stopped me as I was leaving.  I thought, "how nice, he actually remembers that we've met twice before, or that we've spoken on the phone!" (I had a name tag on.)  He looked at my name tag and said, "so, you're the one that my staff is upset about...you're leaving customer service, right?"  I said, "No, that's Rebecca.  She's in a new position, and she was great, but she'll do very well at the new job, too.  Trouble shooting and fixing problems." 

Then he said...damn, I'm still mad...he said, "Oh, so you're just Rachel from customer service, huh?"  Then.  He.  Walked.  Away.  No "good bye", "kiss my butt", "you're dismissed", nothing!  Yeah, I'm just Rachel, from customer service.  Nothing more. 

Bull!  I am DAMN good at what I do, and I will NOT stay late to host another one of your classes, butt-head!  I am NOT *just* Rachel.  I do more for my customers than most other reps even CONSIDER!  I am NOT *just* Rachel.  I am very good at what I do, and I will no longer bother myself with trying to impress you, jerk.

Oh, and "Have a good day!"